Why don't they get it?

So I resigned and yet my employer continues to email and ask if I’d be willing to work if she hired someone to bath, trim nails, express glands( I’m a dog groomer) I would only have to do the haircut?? Really? I mean really? Wow I’m flattered they don’t want to lose me but in same breath. She states " I hope you don’t think im being insensitive to your condition" if you have to say that don’t you think you are?? Geez

Thanks Iv spoken with my husband and we both agree NO for sure. I need to take care of myself. I can’t even groom my own dog much less others?

Sounds pretty good… Thanks for your support

She is clueless. If anything, you'd have an easier time as the bather, IMHO, if you were at the point where your disease still allowed for it. But I have to say that I do understand why people are so clueless about this illness as it really stumps me how it can be on one level (in my case mild to moderate) for a long time then suddenly jump up a level to moderate/severe. And how different it feels once it progresses. Your former boss can't understand because she's well. We've got a serious illness and I have no idea how we could truly get healthy people to understand how awful this is.

Please try and take care of yourself. Don't stress yourself over your boss and her messages, if possible. If nothing else, it shows how much she values you as a worker. But she'll find someone else. Not your worry.

And please take care to rest. Overdoing it (and stress!) tends to make fibro worse, so pamper yourself to keep from kicking your fibro up into another level.

Hugs and a nice cup of tea to you,


Thank you so much I appreciate your feedback IT REALLY MEANS ALOT

You're welcome, Jenn. I can only imagine the extreme pain you must have been in grooming dogs. People don't realize how hard of a job it is, with the dogs squirming and trying to get off the table while you try to keep them safe while wielding an electric razor. I don't know how you did it. I truly don't. I give you a lot of credit for keeping on this long. And now it's your time to take care of you, instead of the dogs.

Take it easy. You've earned it.


Hi Jenn, I had a strange feeling your boss was going to do what she could to keep you there, you are obviously a hard worker, I would take it as a compliment, you have to understand she really does not understand what we go through, I would have been so happy if my boss said she would make conditions easier for me to continue, not that i could, but they did just the opposite, making my life miserable and impossible to for me to continue. it just really hurt, I still think you are doing the right thing !!! Our health has to come first !!! Maybe in your e-mail back to her you could say if and when you feel better to work you would for sure call her.

Hugs & blessings

Hugs & blessings

Hi Jenn,

I suppose you could be flattered, but really, is she 'THICK"? Handling animals is a lot of work, physical and stressful, I'm sure! I guess you are in a state of disbelief over this! I would be! ha!

Enjoy your retirement! If you have to, change your e-mail address!



I agree. Think of this as a major accomplishment and a compliment to your work ethic. Most of us, were (or are) very Type A personalities and take pride in our jobs, when we worked. I know I really kicked butt and took names until my fibro went into overdrive! Of course, that makes us feel worse and makes us panic. For myself, I started my downfall when I needed up to 2 Vicodin HPs every 4 hours, then the Duragesic Patch 50mcgs every 2 days! I mean, how can you continue to work under that much medication??? I gave up working just under 3 years after my diagnosis. I think it was a relief to both the company and myself because they could find someone who could be relied upon to do the job and I could start taking care of myself better. Some people can balance this out very well, but I know now that I couldn't and can't.

I hope that you can find some answer that makes you happy.

I agree as well Jenn. Thank her for the compliment but let her know that right now it just isn’t possible for you to return to work. Unless you know of additional modifications you could request ~ such as a stool at the right height so you can sit while you work, longer time expectations per animal, extremely part time hours, etc. ~ so you could keep working. Otherwise be firm but kind and let her know that her continual requests are actually stressful because they remind you what you aren’t able to do so you really need her to stop asking. Good luck! It’s tough learning to be our own best advocates isn’t it?

I understand, I am a hair dresser for great clips and under terrible time constraints. I am quitting because I keep getting weren’t up for taking too long. I got a job with a different chain that spent expect me to do a hc in 13 minutes. I guess the truth is we hurt like hell all the time and unless you suffer from this condition no one gets it. you must do fantastic work if she is Willing to limit your job duties.

Thanks guys wow what great feedback this online group has been so detrimental to me. I was working 6 days never 8 hours a day but still doing 9-15 dogs every other day on slow days 5-7 I have a stool wrist braces I had and they would get me anything I needed. My body just couldn’t do it and can’t do it anymore, hand cramping, back spasms ,finding myself asking the kennel attendants to help lift dogs into tub…I started turning down clients … It progressed rapidly. In 3 months here I am. I should of listened to my body. But all I can do now is be great full that my husband is supportive, my 21 year old son is amazingly supportive too. I’m really blessed. And everyone is right I will email back and let her know I’m flattered and so glad she believes in me and my work . But I must take care of me… Thanks for listening !!!:wink:

Thirteen minutes? Seriously? That's crazy on your end and the customer's end. It's like the McDonalds of the haircutting world.

I feel for you too, as standing on your feet all day with this illness is killer. Plus it must be hard using your arms and hands all day. I don't know how you do it. I have a ton of respect for anyone who keeps working while sick with this illness. It's killer.

I can totally get what you're saying. Five dogs would be killer. There's a ton of work with dogs - the cut, the nails, the anal glands, the ears...and a very unhappy dog fighting you all of the way, if you're unlucky. I don't know how you even managed to work with hand braces as they are very restrictive and your hands need to move a lot to scissor. Oh, and lifting the dogs into the tub? Hard under the best of circumstances for the big dogs! So you were washing and drying them too? Oy vey!!!

Yes, this illness does progress rapidly when you get worse. One day you can be on one level, the next you can be far worse. All you can do now is take care of yourself so it doesn't progress even more. Be good to yourself.

You have a 21 year old son? I thought you were in your 20's yourself, judging by your photo. LoL! Good genes.

Take care of yourself, Jenn.


Good. You are right to say no and to discuss this with your husband. My principal kept calling me for grades, and I finally told him to give them all As. Please, leave me alone!

My first instinct is to say, "Of course they don't understand...we don't!" And of course, someone has already said this.

I also agree with the Type A personality comment.

My doc just told me this week that I am in the top 5% sickest of the patients he treats with this. It made me stop feeling guilty about not working and just rest. It feels good to stop struggling with my decisions.

And I agree with the sentiment that you just be nice and say no. Being kind under pressure is always a good choice, and instead of being thought of negatively, you are though of positively. We can use all the positives we can get!

Kudos to your strong and caring husband. Mine has changed into the support I never thought he would be, and our relationship keeps getting better all the time. I hope the same for you.

Thank your past employer for her suggestions. But advise her she is too late, you have already resigned. Block her on your email account. You can go in and literally block people from coming through. I do it all the time. Working with dogs is hard for people like us that ache all the time. If you are licensed, you can work out of your home, and work as much, or as little as you want. Or, become a Pet Sitter and sit with those pets and make money. That's what I do, I'm a House/Pet Sitter. Sometimes, it gets physically tasking for me, but I just pace myself and make it work. You are not being insensitive, your past employer is insensitive to you. Most people do not understand Fibromylgia, they think we make up our aches and pains. Hang in there, better days will come. Have faith and pray a lot. God Bless You. - (:-) Smiles

Don't close a door. After rest and some therapy - whatever you need- you may decide to work part time. Provide her with some articles on fibro and your other conditions. But she wants to have you. Could you set up the ability to mentor new groomers with her? Maybe sit down and manage the staff PT?

Oh yes indeed 13-17 minute haircut time. My regulars like me because I take my time. I prefer quality vs. quantity. Having spinal arthritis stinks. Recently found out I have sleep apnea and don’t ever get to REM sleep. I go back this Wed to determine proper airflow for a c pap
machine. I hope this helps me reach proper sleep. If not, back to square one. I swear I don’t need anything else on my plate. I want proper rest so bad. As far as the fibro goes, I am continuing to have new and worsening symptoms. I wish I didn’t have to work anymore but I don’t think it’s too easy to get disability from the government at the age of 41. Ugh…I try daily to be positive!

UGH...spinal arthritis plus fibro plus sleep apnea? UGH. Especially considering that you're always bending in your profession! My back is spasm-ing even thinking of the possibility of doing this!

I just got a sleep machine and it does help. I'm still fibro tired but have more energy than before. And once I hear the hiss of the air and put the mask on, I get super sleepy! There's something about that noise that is very relaxing and sleep inducing to me. I hope you find this to be true for you as well. You need and deserve proper rest, having to work a full-time job. Or even a part-time job.

You might want to start a thread about how old people were when they were approved for disability, Keirsten. I haven't the foggiest idea. My lawyer told me that the government considers me to be "young" for disability at 50, but for some reason I'm no longer "young" at 51. But my impression is that younger people have been approved. You do have to have amassed a certain number of work credits in the past 10 years.

I still think that 13-17 minutes for a haircut is awful and I'd never want to get one in that timeframe. Good for you for sticking to your guns and providing quality over quantity!