What do you do when you just CAN'T? I don't know what I'm gonna do


Hey guys. In a flare again from family stress. I cant take it. I just got a new job, am trying to get into SAIT, and just cant take it. What do you guys do when all you wanna do is lay there and cry but you cant because you know it will make the pain worse.
Thanks guys. Have good nap naps


Hey Sleepy! Nobody here has responded, what a shame. I’m hoping if I bump it up to the top of the feed, you’ll get a reply. While I’m at it , I’ll tweak the subject line a bit. Hope you don’t mind.

I’m Seenie, and I’m a volunteer network moderator for Ben’s Friends. I don’t have fibro, but I have had extreme body pain and crushing fatigue as part of my Psoriatic Arthritis. What I did was find things that I could do, even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. In my case that was being active on my Ben’s Friends community, and gentle swimming. Being active on the community kept me connected with people, and being able to help someone with a kind word or a suggestion made me feel good. (Still does!) It also got my brain out of the house. And goodness knows, my brain needed that more than anything.

I also started going to the pool. Easy? No, it was awful to get myself motivated and going there. Hurt too. I hated getting wet and having to dry and dress afterwards because I was too damned tired. But I soon discovered that an hour or so of paddling and floating 'round really helped me feel better, and it helped my pain. Didn’t cure it, but it made it more bearable.

So for me, it was getting my brain and body out of the house, doing gentle movement, and reaching out to others. But everyone is different.

I saw “SAIT” in your message, and it made me smile. But I did wonder about how many people here on this international forum would know what SAIT is. It’s a good thing you’ve got a retired Canuck guidance counsellor in moderator support! LOL I hope you get in! (What are you aiming for?)

All the best to you, Sleepygamer

Seenie from ModSupport


Hi Sleepy, I’m really sorry you’re having another flare. I’m just learning the difference between a flare and “regular “ pain. I am very impressed you are working. What is SAIT? I find that it really helps me to have compassion towards myself during difficult times including a flare. I try to talk to myself in a kind nonjudgmental way. I use fragrant lotion and put it on my arms, neck and face. I snuggle under a special blanket or just have a blanket at my side. I have two blankets near me right now while I’m lying on the couch ( thankfully not in a flare today). Even though I’m an adult, I grab one of my stuffed animals and hold it. I feel comforted by them. I listen to funny movies on TV even if my eyes are closed from the pain. I pray a lot. Essential oils smell good and help me too. I know it’s hard but getting exercise does lessen the pain if done routinely. Gentle exercise. Do you have a pet? I have a dog named Molly. She makes me get up to play, go outside, and feed her. She helps me keep moving and makes me smile. Reading all these ideas may seem overwhelming especially if you’re in a flare. Just pick one thing. Try it. And know you are not alone in this journey. Take care! Jean


I have the luxury “time” of being able to sit in bed and read a book or use my kindle. It keeps my mind of the pain. My Dr has given me pain meds to use short term. If you can get a trancranial direct current stimulation unit. It sends a harmless current through your brain that stops flares. Hope you feel better.


Thank you all for your helpful words!! Love you all! Thankfully most of the pain only lasted a day. SAIT is the southern Alberta institute of technology. I’m going for ultra sound tech.


Ultrasound tech! That is an extremely cool profession. It’s all about people and technology and being able to think in three dimensions. And for someone with fibro, it’s less demanding, physically, than nursing or some of the other medical professions. Good choice, Sleepy!

I second Jean’s suggestion: making friends with a dog (even if it’s someone else’s) is a great idea too. It’s hard to be miserable when there’s someone else who thrilled to see you every . single . time . There’s not a single human in my life who does that.

Go for it, Sleepy!