Very lost right now and worried

i know this isnt a dealing with loss and grief site but im worried how this could affect my fibro. a very good friend of mine passed away he died suddenly. the problem is he was much more than a friend his wife adopted me as their daughter unofficially a few years back. alice always introduces me as her adopted daughter and her husband popped up that same day and said tell anyone who messes with u that dad will take care of it so for 3 years now they have and still are my 2nd mom and dad and now i have 2 busy days coming up tomorrow being thursday is his wake and visitation, friday is his funeral im not at all sure how this is going to make my pain worse or if it even will i guess its hard to say all i know is he will be deerly and deeply missed i know the sadness will let up he is probably up there in heaven right now asking what the heck im crying for i just feel a bit lost more than a bit and im worried. i know its normal but im afraid of feeling some abnormal pain and im worried if and when will it strike being that stress is a trigger for flare ups and boy oh boy this type of stress is a dooooozie

So sorry for your loss, river. It is so hard to lose people we love.

I would think that worrying about the stress is adding more stress. All you can do is take it one step at a time to try to get through this. Make sure you are doing all you can for yourself - eat properly, rest as much as you can during the day and try to get enough sleep at night. Grief is sadness and stress and a sense of loss and loneliness, but it is important to feel it and deal with it. It does ease with time.

Again, my condolences.


ty redwing and yup i been crying off and on since i found out a few hrs ago about him passing away it will take time i know everything no matter what it is takes time . the time can range from a few seconds to many years and im too stubborn to let it win but im not so stubborn that i will just shut down either it sucks thats true but eventually things will come together i just keep reminding myself that he would be picking on me and cracking jokes and such but like i said he was family not just an average friend and i have other friends who flat out told me if i dont go with them to sing and such after the wake that they will come get me so idk all i know for sure right now is im tired very tired

Couldn’t have said it better redwing!

I know it’s of course easier said than done River, but we do have to try to remember to take care of ourselves for our own pain/sanity. Even “normals” realize during very difficult times like these you need to take even better care of yourself and get the rest that you need…well…try at least!
I am SO very sorry for your loss! Sounds like you have some good friends willing to drive and such, just remember to lean on them too and ask for any other help you may need as well.

Please let us know how you’re doing and spill whenever needed…even if you just need to “virtually” yell, scream or cry! We will all be here for you with our “virtual” arms open!!

Gentle hug!!


Morning River, I am so sorry for your loss. I am in the same position as you, my Uncle that I grew up with always being close by and even living with him at some point passed away yesterday morning. He has been battling cancer for a while now and has been so sick, I know he is in a better place now and has no pain. Within a few hours of finding out he had passed away I went into a flare and it just keeps getting worse. I will keep you in my prayers and if you need to talk I'm here, Hugs, Robin

Robin, my condolences to you too. Death is just so hard, even when we know it's for the best. You feel relieved that your family member is no longer in pain, no longer suffering... but you grieve so much for your loss.

So sorry. Please try to take care of yourself. I hope your flare doesn't last too long.


I just wanted to pass my condolences along to you. Like you, I have a 2nd set of parents and I would be absolutely devestated if anything happened to either one of them. We’re all here for you!! Hugs!!

HI River - I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend last year to cancer and a stroke. I was pretty devastated and my Fibro did flare up a bit. I have another friend right now, that is dealing with multiple cancers. I am on the phone with him everyday and his daughter keeps me posted. We all have stress to deal with everyday and stress that will knock us for a loop, like what you are going through now. I sympathize with you, because we have a type of illness that can flare up, depending on what we are dealing with. We are extremely sensitive to the negative things in life, more so then people who don't have Fibro. We feel everything more acute. Again, River I am so sorry for what you are going through. Try to take is easy and think about the great memories you have of your friend. I always say, ''thank God for the memories!"" We arr all here to help you through it. You are not alone and and whatever feeling you have about your friend passing away, let it out! Don't keep in inside because it will make your Fibro worse. Last but not least, you have US to turn to as well. I felt extremely lost when my friend passed away. I was so used to talking to him on the phone 3 or 4 times a week. Everyone deals with grief there own way, you know?? Take your time and I promise in the end, you will have the beautiful memories of your friend to cling on to! Love Laurie

thank u everyone and robin im sorry for your loss as well i may post a poem that i wrote about this exact subject i just read it a bit ago and it made me feel a bit better and im sure there will be more to come my writings tend to be an outlet with alot of truth behind them i hope u all find comfort in it as i do eventhough its still sad its true and it makes me feel better everytime i read it eventhough i wrote it lol i know it sounds weird

Thank you Sharon

Thanks River. Please post your poem. I would love to read it. Robin

i put one on here yesterday robin its in blogs and its in emotional support i hope it helps i can only stay on here a little while i need to leave in a few hrs we r laying my adopted dad to rest at 2 pm today

another poem is up i hope u all enjoy it, i hope it helps i posted it in 2 places