Trauma before Fibro?

Did physical, emotional or mental trauma start the beginnings of your FIbro? You don't need to tell what you went through, as this is personal. If you want to share, that would be fine. My Fibro started during my marriage. It's a very long story, but I can tell you this, I was under so much stress that my body couldn't take it anymore and I started developing symptoms of Fibro and other ailments that I still have to this day. BIG Hugs! Laurie

Yes, I think so. I was going through a very difficult long-term relationship.

I caught a "cold" and that turned into a chronic fatigue episode that lasted 2 months. I was only 30 years old and I could barely get out of bed from the weakness. I had no appetite and lost 20 pounds. I had costochondritis on top of all of that. It was awful. I had no insurance and the doctors at the e.r. wouldn't help me but to say that it was a virus. I thought I was dying and I went into a clinical depression. When I came out of the depression after going on Lexapro, I was left with fibro symptoms- mild compared to now! My relationship was already strained for financial reasons, but that chronic fatigue episode put an enormous strain on my body. My long-term boyfriend of 5 years whom I was living with did not understand or even believe I was sick and I loved him and tried everything to get him to understand what was happening with me- it was devastating to me. I look back at this now and I am saddened at how unsupportive he really was of me when I needed him the most.

Years passed with fibro symptoms at a constant very mild state and depression at a mild state, but then when the boyfriend finally abandoned me, my fibro (which I did not know was fibro) went full-blown. I could hardly walk, talk or even eat. I believe that if I wasn't on very good depression medication, I would've fell into a clinical depression with the fibro and the abandonment.

I am CONVINCED that the trauma of a very difficult relationship started my fibro and that it's all somehow linked to depression.


I really think mine came from many years back. My hubby and I were the fixers of the family. When I look back we were so young doing things for family that no young couple should have to do. We buried my father n law, Aunt and an Uncle within a year of one another and had to pay for 1. Have taken in and raised 3 of my husbands nephews and nieces and only the youngest she is 21 and a mom appreciates all we did for her, than 4 of my great nephews and nieces on several ocassions when taken away from their mom and we cant let them go to foster care so we take them, make them a little better and than they go back to mom. I worried because my husband was a police officer now my son and son n law both are and in swat as well. I remember my neck always burning and going into my back. Was put on muscle relaxers no help and here I am many years later lol. I hurt every where. Sorry about your stress Laurie, Hugs xoxo

Mine started with a simple gym accident and became full blown after I worked tons of hours at a very physically hard job.

HI Robin - Wow! you certainly had a lot going on. One of the things that triggered the beginnings of my FIibro, was the death of my parents - 5 months apart. Shortly after this - I started having trouble in my marriage. I had known my ex-husband for 7 years before we married. Thought I knew him well. About 4 years into our marriage I discovered a really and truly 'dark' side of him that I never even knew existed. By the time I got out of the marriage,I already had Fibro, high blood pressure, essential tremors in the hands and on and on. I still have everything to this day - all managed through medicines. Despite all these physical problems, I am free now and feeling very happy about where I am in my life. More and more people are beginning to understand what I go through also. Don't get me wrong, Robin, I am not asking these people for sympathy, as I am a very strong woman, but I do have days where it's awfully hard to get around. I first got FIbro affliction in my hips. Horrible spasms. As the years have gone on - I have it now in many other places, plus the trigger points as well. I am also an extremely poor sleeper, as a lot of Fibros are. Stay with us Robin and we can all help each other out!

Hug!! Laurie

mine started after 2 years of stomach pain-took out gall bladder. iwas so terrified about th surgery.63 and no surgery before. i could feel the terror going in to surgery. the recovery wasnt good ad i was upset. 2 years to figure out gallbladder-way to long.then came the ibs-never a problem-and now the fibro(undiagosed) got so depressed went to counsler.

Hi Riley - Thanks for sharing your story with me. The reason I posted this discussion, is I wanted to see if any type of trauma was relevant when getting the FIbro. I have learned so much with all the responses I am getting! Gentle Hugs! Laurie

ive read alot of things and they it does relate to life stressors. it is amazing how stress relates tp our body.(excuse my typing its probably been 50 years) how long have you had it? any tips on copeing on a daily basics. i just need o stress less.

My doc thinks Lupus brought on the Fibro. He said it was probably from all the pain caused by the Lupus.

It was my third time being in a 'rear ended' car accident that I could never get over that kicked everything up for me. That started as physical, then went on to emotional and mental, and eventually diagnosed with autoimmune arthritis, which is hereditary, but I think the car accident threw the switch 'on' for those! I know there are many who got here by way of car accident!

Here's what NIH says about stress and Fibro:

Mine started when I was married to my now ex-husband. The relationship was not healthy and he was very abusive to say the least. One day, I took a nap with my then baby daughter by rocking her to sleep. When I woke up, I had the worst headache known to man and my spine felt like it was fire. My mother in law insisted my ex take me to the ER even though he didn't want to. The ER doctor couldn't find a reason for the pain. Since that time, I would have this burning spine pain every time I would get sick. Like right before. It happened for nine years until May. In May, I had a small sinus infection and the burning spine pain returned only to get worse. The pain encompassed my entire body.My boyfriend (who treats me like a princess) took me to the doctor, and the crazy diagnoses started. Finally, I was referred to a neurologist who said I have fibromyalgia. Now, I am waiting impatiently for my doctor to get me an appointment with a pain management doctor. I think the stress from my twelve year marriage to Satan started this whole nightmare.

Hi Susan - Satan is a good name for your ex-husband. I should apply that name to my ex-husband as well. He was awful and it was in my marriage that I started to get sick. So, it shows stress is a real biggie when it comes to getting Fibro. Although I was happy to get out of the marriage, physically, I was an absolute mess.Still dealing with it to this day! I was married 28 years to that man and I should've gotten out sooner. This was a mistake on my part. Laurie

HI SK - So you were rear-ended 3 times?? Oh my gosh! Were you hit pretty bad the third time? I was rear-ended a few years ago by a woman who was on her cell phone. I had stopped at a red light and there was a woman in her car in front of me. I looked in the rear view mirror, and saw this woman come barreling down at a pretty good speed and wham!! She hit me really hard and I, in turn, hit the car in front of me. However, it wasn't hard enough that my air bag deployed, but it was hard enough to hurt my neck and lower back. Ouch! Here it was, just a normal beautiful day, and I was taking a lunch break from work. Well, guess who couldln't go back to work that day - or for 2 weeks??? Me! The woman that hit me was just mortified and upset. I had to hold my tongue because the reason she hit me was because she was yapping on her cell phone. Everything turned out okay in the end and her insurance took care of everything. But I was pretty rattled for a few days. Always something - huh? BIG hugs!! Laurie

LOL Laurie! I have called him all sorts of names, but Satan fits him best. Stress has to be a huge factor in fibro because that marriage was like being in Nazi Germany. I was also so happy to get rid of him, but mentally, physically, and emotionally I was not okay at all. I also am still dealing with the repercussions of marrying an abusive a-hole too, but it is sooo much better than it was. I should have gotten out sooner too and I deal with a lot of guilt from not leaving sooner. But, I was terrified of him and of him catching me trying to leave. Plus, I had no job, no money, no car, and three kids. In the end, I have dealt with my issues on my own (counselors didn't help) and am more confident now.

Hi Petunia girl -- good morning! I am pretty sore today, but just getting on this website makes me feel better. You mentioned that you were involved in a gym accident that started the Fibro? .....and a physically hard job as well? I worked at a animal hospital for many years. I really loved what I was doing. I worked in the surgicaL unit, but had to do other jobs there if some people didn't show up for their work. There were times I had to haul the huge food bags for dogs and cats, over my shoulder! Whoa! It really did me in, in the end, because I was developing horrible shoulder pain - especially near the shoulder blade.. I now have trigger points in both shoulders and I suspect lifting those bags might have started me the road to FIbromyalgia. But I really did enjoy working with the animals. Mu daughter, Kim, is a Vet technician in California and has a degree in anesthiology. She really loves what she is doing. I was laid off after so many years, because new management was taking over. It was just as well, as I have told other people in this group and my Fibro was really starting to interfere with my work As all Fibros know, ever day is different and this is probably one of the most frustrating things about having Fibro. Very often I have to plan around my FIbro and if I wake up some mornings really sick and hurting, there is nothing I can do, but rearrange what plans I had for that day. Thankfully, most people are understanding. I am also very prone to Migraines from the trigger points on both sides of my neck, so, I really have to take care of myself and I have learned to be really patient with my self as well. Hope you have a painless day!! Gentle hugs, Laurie

Hi Susan - I stayed with my ex-husband for 28 years! Can you believe this? Everytime I wanted to live, he would threaten me and the kids. In the mean time - he had other women on the side and he was very abusive to me emotionally and mentally. Never saw any of this when we were dating. I guess he was on his best behavior! I didn't have a job either, so trying to plan on leaving him was pretty scary because he was the one who brought home the, rude and a pathological liar, He couldn't tell the truth about anything. When I finally got out of this horrible marriage, I was extremely relived and very happy. But physically I was getting pretty sick. As I began to heal with my illnesses, then the emotional and mentally stuff started to creep in and I went to Therapy to deal with it. He eventually remarried, however he is now in the process of another divorce. Excuse me Susan, but I DO have a smile on my face about this. Because of what he did to our family, he has been ostrazied from all relatives, his mother and friends. I have a very close friendship with his side of the family though. But as you can see, I was in under tremondous stress for years and years and never took the time to take care of myself. I paid a price for this and here I am today with all these physical probelms. But you know what? It's really a small price that I had to pay for, because I am so happy to have him out of my life and to see my family survived it all and they are moving on as well. Gentle hugs, Laurie

- In reading your latest post, I was actually reading about myself! He threatened me every time I wanted to leave, He also said I was unworthy and as this kept going on and on in my marriage, my self-confidence and self-esteem were absolutely shot! I too had new job at that time and two little kids to take care as well. I also dealt with a lot of guilt for not having left him sooner.Like you, I had no job and didn't know what the hell I was going to do about it all. The abuse was unrelenting every single day. He wasn't physicall abusive , but emotionally and mentally he really did a job on me and I am furious that I allowed him to impose on me that way. He's a horrible man and he remarried right after our divorce. Well, I found out, he is getting another divorce. I'm like, who cares? In fact I had a smile on my face when I was told he was ending his second marriage! I know this sounds horrible to be happy about one's demise, but I couldn't help it. He destroyed our family, muy kids won't have anything to do with him anymore, so he is pretty much alone now. His fault and he will have to deal with it on his own.

I think I can cover all the bases. I was abused when I was 5. I have lupus, and I was in a head-on collision about 20 yrs. ago. Does this help? Hugs to you too! :)

I think you might be on to something with the depression. I've been depressed since I was about 13 yrs. old. I didn't remember the abuse until much later. (it was confirmed after I finally talked to my sister, who was abused by the same man). I was in a very unhappy marriage at a young age. I was always looking for something or someone to make me happy, instead of looking to myself. I still struggle with that. Although, I am married for the second time (16 yrs.) to a wonderful man. Right now I'm very lonely. I thought I had friends until I left my job, turns out not so much. I've never been good at making friends. I talk to my dogs all day, and talk my husbands ear off when he comes home. Thank goodness for all of you, but I need a friend, just one, someone I can call and who'll call me. Sorry, I'm feeling sorry for myself today :(

Oh my gosh Charlie!! You got a double whammy from all sides!! I am so sorry! The reason I posted my discussion about whether there was any trauma before the Fibro, is, that some people in this group have mentioned something happening to them before Fibro strikes. I wonder if it lies dormant and then attacks when the body's defenses are really down? Just a thought! So sorry about your abuse. Breaks my heart when I hear of things like that. Are you new to the group?? Gentle hugs, Laurie

I guess I'm kind of new. The thing with the abuse is I didn't admit it to myself till I was in my 30's, and didn't tell anybody till last year. (I'm 53). I'd really like to talk to someone on how to deal, can't afford a therapist. I'd like to talk to someone who has been through the same thing, don't know if it would help but I need help. sorry for rambling, Charlie.