I was in a lot of pain after my third car accident. I went through every type of doctor there was to finally be told I have fibromyalgia. My general doctor had been doctoring me all along and said that he would do anything he could to support me through this whole process. He even told me that he would help me if I thought I needed to quit working and apply for SSI.
Then after a year going through every doctor that would see me and all the pain and suffering I finally had to give up working. I was an analyst and I couldn’t even remember what databases contained what information to consolidate a report. So how was I to keep working? I quit a job that I loved and then I saw my doctor two weeks later. I asked him to write a letter of support for Social Security and he told me that he didn’t think he could do that because after all I was still working. I told him I had stopped working and that’s when he flipped a switch. He told me that he could come in claiming the same symptoms that I had and still have the same results on test that I had so how was he to know that I was in fact in that much pain that I couldn’t work. And of course we all know it’s not just the pain. Anyway I asked him if there was another doctor I should see and he got very angry with me and defensive because I guess he thought I was asking if I should change general doctors. I wasn’t I had just run out of what type of specialist I should request. We got into a bit of a heated argument because I was upset that after almost 2 years of doctoring that he would actually question my status at the time that I really needed his help with social.
I had also followed some advise on a website that said that doctors don’t always have time to put a good letter together for you. So it was suggested to write the letter that describes all of the problems that I had for my doctor to just sign. I asked my doctor to sign it and he said he would have to think about it. I said that wasn’t any problem I was just trying to help the process. When I went to go get my records I learned that he had put into my record for that visit how I had demanded he sign my letter and that I was bullying him and that he felt that he may have to dismiss me as a patient. So of course the letter that he did eventually write after my test results came back that I have major depressive disorder, didn’t hold water with the judge for social.
I have been reeling from this for the last six months. I’m lucky I have a medical pension coming to me so that’s keeping us out Of financial ruin but I don’t want to give up on getting Social Security. At the same time I don’t see how I could win it.
I cannot work and if I could I would’ve kept the job that I had. I have worked since I was 16 years old. I am now 50 and I had to quit working two years ago. Giving up my life working has not been easy. No one in their right mind would choose to have this kind of life and live in this kind of isolation on purpose. An illness that has completely stolen my life and yet I’m not terminal. My therapist, family, friends, and every support group that I read all say to stay positive. I keep trying to hold my head above water but just seems to keep getting deeper and deeper.
I’m asking this group what would you do? Would you continue to pursue SSI even though now I’m aware that I have this bad record in my medical charts. And it isn’t easy to change doctors either. I tried and of course the very first thing I’m told is that they don’t give out narcotics to new patients. I am not a drug seeker. I do everything in my power to wait till the very last second to take my Vicodin. Heating pads and hot showers are my saviors a lot of times. I pay for it most of the time too because it takes me at least 1-2 hours to start being able to breathe from the pain after I take my meds. But every doctor you see makes you feel like that’s all you’re there for is to get drugs.
Forgive me for going on so long about my history. I would just really like to know what would you guys do? Would you pursue getting Social Security? Would you pursue finding another general doctor even though now finally he’s come around to agree that I do have a problem? I just don’t know which way to go.
Oh, and of course I can’t say how happy I am to see a reseach article on the illness and know that they are at least looking at this illness seriously in the medical community. When I first got diagnosed I actually worked in a unit with all nurses and I was told by an educating nurse, oh you got diagnosed with fibromyalgia the junk diagnosis. That just means they don’t really know what’s wrong with you. I guess I should’ve got a clue right away huh?
Thank you for your responses in advance. I have seen enough discussions to know that this group will give me their opinions and support and I do appreciate it.