Things to Know about Introverts (... and maybe Fibro sufferers)

I found this article and couldn't believe how much of this applies to me MORE now than it used to...


1) We need to recharge alone.
This right here is the cusp of the entire introvert v. extrovert debate (if there is one, anyway) – Introverts need to be alone to recharge. We tend to get completely worn out by socializing. This is basically what it means to be an introvert.

2) We don’t hate being around people, but we probably hate crowds.
I love being with people, but if you drop me into a large crowd I instantly feel like I’m alone and invisible. I try to avoid situations where I feel that way, so I may decline your open invitation to some random event. It doesn’t mean I don’t like to be around you, it just means I like to have more control over my surroundings.

3) We don’t mind silence.
I can sit beside you in silence and not think we are having a bad time. This is especially true on road trips and can be a little confounding to true extroverts. For this reason, I especially like going to the movies where it is already considered rude to chat. Rule #1 for dealing with introverts – Don’t tell me I’m “too quiet.” I hate that. Sorry I’m making you uncomfortable, but you really don’t get to decide how much I have to talk.

4) Just because we are introverted doesn’t mean we are shy.
Introvert and shy are actually two different things. Google it! In my case, I’m a shy introvert (the double whammy!).

5) We can turn on an extroverted personality when necessary, but it is especially draining.
See #1 and #2. I have no problem getting up in front of a group of people and giving a talk. I don’t even get nervous by a question and answer period. But – here is the thing – I will need major recharge time afterwards and I won’t be able to keep up this extroverted illusion all day. I can turn it on to dazzle a crowd, but if you take me out for lunch afterwards, I’ll probably just listen to you talk. I am an excellent listener.

6) We aren’t judging you.
See #3. Did I get quiet? Do I have a mean look on my face? I’m not judging you; I’m just wrapped up in my thoughts with my bitchy-resting-face on. I might have even forgotten you were there. Sorry, just poke me. I didn’t do it on purpose.

7) We secretly love it when you cancel plans.
I like being with you, but finding out I suddenly don’t need to be “on” and it wasn’t actually me that backed out? – priceless! Don’t worry if you have to cancel, I’m probably thrilled to be able to stay in my pajamas.

8) We can get very wrapped up in our own thoughts.
My inner monologue is epic. When you have a strong monologue constantly running in the background, it is pretty easy to settle-in and listen for a while. I have to work through things in my head before I proceed, so I usually need a few minutes. When I’m ready to move forward though, I am 100% on top of it!

9) We can be pretty bad at connecting.
You know when you have had a really bad day and you just want to call up a friend and chat? Yeah, I’m bad at that. I tend to wait for extroverts to reach out and include me, so when the time comes that I need support, I can be a bit lost.

10) We don’t like to hang around.
That time after an event or meeting ends and stragglers hang around to talk – yeah, I know this is the perfect time to make more plans, connect with new people, and get involved with future projects, but I really, really, really hate this. I’m probably already checking my phone in my car before you have even picked up your purse. Small talk with strangers is my kryptonite.

11) We have strong opinions.
Just because I have difficultly sharing them sometimes doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions. Give me an extra minute to compose my thoughts and I will continue to push myself to speak up sooner. It is a give and take here.

**By Stephanie :

Personally, I get worn out THINKING about going out and being among people. And I need my space to stay the same, whether that's clean or filthy doesn't matter... but don't clean my mess when I'm recharging (something my husband attempted to be nice but ended up irritating us both).

And man, cancel plans! Hey, Universe! Yeah, you! Cancel some plans!!! I'm down. I'm good. I can SLEEP... or lie in bed staring at the fan... either way, no bra, no shoes, no pressure... I'm totally down.

Anyway, just thought y'all might enjoy this....

Wow - this is me to a tee :)

This is so me and I laughed at part of it . Being an introvert is causing me problems trying to connect with other people to get orders for my business . I hate talking face to face with people I don't know .

I totally understand this. I am a passive sales person, lol.

Me: Hi.

Other person: Hi.

Me: *insert crickets chirping*

Other person: walks away


Yup, reconfirmed I am an introvert. I love number 7. Not having to go out to a group event, is heaven to me. I even do hermit weekends, where I don't go out, except to walk the dog; talk to anyone, answer the phone. It is bliss. I often tell people I am a hermit in training, LOL.Thanks for posting.

Do you think there is a correlation between some of the introvert traits and fibro? I would love to hear your thoughts?

I do think that there is a correlation between some of those traits, but I am also an only child, so I have been used to being alone with myself my whole maybe I am not a great source.

I know that as I have gotten older, it takes more and more energy for me to get up and out and be around people all day. I work in a landscape supply yard, so we have direct customer contact. Our busiest part of the season is coming up in a couple of months, and for the first time, I am not looking forward to it, because I know how exhausted it's going to make me. :P

I can relate to number 1, 3, 5, 8. I am not sure if Fibro is correlated to some of these traits or not but that is an interesting thought. I have pretty much always been more of an introvert. I enjoy others but prefer a quieter environment. I am adventurous however - as long as I can come back to my safe haven when I need to. I like talking to others but not a large crowd of people. I am not a "mingler" - I would prefer to sit in the corner and talk with 1-3 others. Is there any type of connection between this and Fibro? Hmm, I don't know. Another interesting question is: Does Fibro change your personality? My opinion is no, it doesn't fundamentally change our personality type. We may have to modify some things but overall we are still the same person.

Well that just about describes me to a "t" and I'll be interested to see if others here feel the same way.

Thank you for posting this, Stephanie!

I feel like I just read about myself. Like many of you - this fits me to a tee. Before I got ill, I was outgoing and I enjoyed being around people, even if it was a crowded event. But,.. not anymore.

Loud or even moderately loud music throws me off too. I've been in stores already where I had to leave because their background music was too loud for me. Obviously, it was small store. My dr described it to me as getting over stimulated. Another lovely problem I never had before I got ill.

Like some others said, this sounds exactly like me. I don’t like being around a lot of people. Both my husband and I are retired. But I have to say that being together 24x7 really is not all it’s cracked up to be. At least not for me. I sometimes just want to sit in total silence but with him here it won’t happen. There are times I get so fed up by not getting any peace and quiet I actually go to a hotel for 3-4 days. So yes, this does sound like me. I would imagine there are several of us that this would describe.

Wow, is this ever me!!!! The only difference is I love to talk, and tend to say whatever pops into my head, which sometimes isn't a good thing! But, since I hate "hanging around" my favorite way to talk with friends is over the phone: bets of both worlds, get to talk *and* stay in my pajamas!

Kimberly :)

Me too!!!!

Suzanne said:

This is so me and I laughed at part of it . Being an introvert is causing me problems trying to connect with other people to get orders for my business . I hate talking face to face with people I don't know .

I read this in hopes of figuring out why introverts seem drawn to me. I am what I call an extreme extrovert. If in a room full of people, no matter how hard I try, I cannot sit still and shut up, I need to talk! I talk to random strangers all over from the bus stop to waiting rooms to the grocery store. Yet somehow, most of my good friends over the years have been introverts. I have never been able to figure out why! Shouldn't introverts get sick of my constant yapping and physical antics? I have even had a few of those introverted guy friends proclaim their love for me. Boggles my mind!

I can see an extrovert being drawn to introverts. If extroverts get around too many other extroverts, they can't shine. Get around introverts, they have the floor!

As an introvert, I am always attracted to anyone who will talk to me, and often strike up random conversations in stores. This give me enough socializing without exhausting me. You sound like a fun person to be around--I wouldn't have to put out any effort, just watch and try to get a few words in edgewise!

Kimberly :)

God, this is so me. EVERY ONE of them!!!!!