The Stress of Doctors

Rant incoming!
So I’ve been on the verge of underweight my whole life. In saying that I’ve also been quite fit looking and very happy with my body image. This year that I’ve been taking all these new medications I’ve gained 20kgs.I don’t feel like myself. I push myself to get out of bed so that I’m not adding to the weight gain in being 'lazy.
Anyway so I go to a GP who i don’t normally see (needed some scripts) and by the end of it he lectures me about weight gain, diabetes etc. Sees that I’m still going off the medication that supposedly did this, can see I’ve already booked in a dietician and continues lecturing me. WHY? WHAT IS THE POINT? I already feel like a failure and like I’m not myself. I’ve been struggling mentally with all of this and it’s clear I’m taking steps to help myself. I wish doctors would think before they speak. And even think after they’ve thunk. Because my God the things he said have stuck in my mind every day since I saw him. It makes me so angry and sad. I WISH I didn’t look like this. I WISH there was more I could do. But there’s not.
Ugh.

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Hi Rosellas, I very much empathize. They seem to flounder helpless and drag us under emotionally in the process. So it’s good to stay clear physically if we can, which you now couldn’t of course, and if we can’t then mentally. You of course aren’t the least a failure: the problem arose from recommendations by docs and it’s probably a necessary part of their mindset to only see parts and not the whole picture as many would be too overwhelmed by the complexity and the small positive part they play in it as well as the larger negative parts.
I was narked enough getting +6kg from amitriptyline. 1kg more and I’d’ve stopped it disregarding what positive effects it might have had, which it didn’t anyway, only 8+ sfx…!

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I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life, and it is due to me not eating as I should. At times, my doctors have dealt with me about it, but done so in a respectful way. In your case, and given your history of not having weight issues, I would say a change of doctors might be in order. You are dealing with enough without fearing visits to your doctor as well. If they cannot see that the changed meds brought this on, and can’t find a way to encourage you instead of bringing you down, it is time to switch. You can rise above this with the right team cheering you on medically.

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Yep! I hear you loud and clear. I don’t understand the way doctors think. I wonder if any doctors out there could shed some light on this subject? I’ve been dismissed, misunderstood and had things written about me in progress notes that were either untrue or that I never said. All that aside, you Rosellas, are a beautiful person inside and out. Big or little, tall or short. Your good heart remains the same. :hugs:

I’ve come across several doctors that talk about other docs not doing their job well regarding FM: Andrea Nicol is one: Fibromyalgia: from fiction to fact and to the future - Andrea Nicol - YouTube, another is Michael Lenz who’s written a book and tries to do a podcast and Bruce Gillis with his pseudo-FM/a-test a third. None of these 3 convince me at all. They all convey an aura of overconfidence and overestimation and do not live up to it. Andrea Nicol’s video is quite OK, but I much prefer Rachel Lynch’s from the same summit. Michael Lenz’s podcast & other web comments are not worth it - altho his book has a few good reviews. And Bruce Gillis has deceived people by claiming his test does not need medical evidence, just because he is the only one really helping, and then a second time when he ‘forgot’ to admit to people paying >1000$ for his “test” that he is no longer working on his BCG vaccine trial to ‘heal’ FM.

Instead I think after my 50 docs in the last 2 years, many do their best (in my case most were really good, empathetic, understanding), but they are under time/money & stress pressure, do not understand our condition because it just isn’t understandable, so are at a loss how to put it in writing & also just can’t remember everything correctly. It doesn’t belong to their image to admit defeat, so they have to twist & turn things so it looks OK for them. Praps the way I talk to them they don’t have to keep up this image. Others may want them to be perfect, because they think they are there to help. But they are humans. Not demigods in white. And we humans are too complicated, mentally and physically, for the 100 years of sensible medicine and psychology up to now. My insights into what doctors learn are sobering. The first few years they need to get natural science & anatomy basics into their heads, but also slit up corpses. Not easy at all. Learning learning learning. Then information on thousands of diseases and thousands of meds (based on the research of pharmacy companies). Then when at last they’ve finished their basic course, or actually even before, they have to work much more than most, cope with lots of stress and it takes a long while before they get to earning some money.
People expect them to know millions of things off by heart, be geniuses and brilliant, lovable people too, and not cost anything much. But it’s a tough job to help loads of people that are suffering under time pressure. If our societies would want more suitable people with more time, a majority would have to vote for politicians to increase the cost of insurance (which also usually increases the cost of employment, so that’s a complicated political issue). Until then the healthy people will not miss that much, and the sick people have to pay the price by not getting enough help. The only way to jump out of that system is if people have enough money themselves or learn about their bodies themselves…

I hear ya! It wasn’t enough that it took over 2 years to FINALLY get diagnosed with fibromyalgia. (At least that doc KNEW I wasn’t “mental”.) I have a new PCP who is a D.O. I have this doc because he shared office space for 2 weeks with my previous doc (Internist) who retired in Dec. My new PCP saw that I’m on Xanax & automatically assumed (we all know what that does??? LOL) I’m clinically depressed. As I am currently not seeing a therapist, he insisted I see one. He also insists that I see a Rheumatologist for both the RA & the fibro. Makes me wonder why I see him at all. The Rheumatologists in this town won’t see me because I turned one of their own into the police for sexually assaulting me. I told my new PCP this, but would he listen to me??? NO.

I’m also having issues with my health insurance. I made this change in Dec. but, conveniently, their system went down & the change was not made. I want to get off the HMO I’m on and have a PPO so that I can spend the bookoo money in gas, that I don’t have, to go an hour and a half from here just to see a Rheumatologist. Which will do no good because I can’t take any of the “mainstays” that treat RA and I can’t afford the new biologics. My first PCP, in all of this–also an Internist–and I came up with treating me with prednisone when I had flare ups. It worked quite well. My current PCP won’t do that. Says it has to be a Rheumy. Insurance said it was their mistake & would be fixed in 7-10 days. It’s been 12 & I’m STILL on the HMO. PCP thinks I’m trying to do a head fake on him & has quit filling my scripts.

At first he said he would fill my pain meds. Now he says he can’t continue to do that, I have to go to Pain Management. I’VE BEEN THROUGH PAIN MANAGEMENT THREE F’ING TIMES!!! Visualization, breathing, buzz words said throughout the day do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for a back messed up from a train wreck along with A.S. and all the rest. Before I got handed over to my new PCP, my Internist diagnosed me as having chronic pain. Why the D.O. can’t accept that is beyond me. The stress from this, alone, has my fibro & RA through the roof for this whole month.

Welcome back Shatosa! I am soooooo sorry for how you have been treated. But you are not alone and this is your Fibro family who cares about you. I have a friend who has MS and turned in a doctor for unethical treatment. Not sexual assault. And she has forever had a “ black mark” associated with her name ever since. She has to drive several hours from her hometown to get treatment because NO doctor with help help her because of this. What happened to you was wrong! It’s terrible when you have been a victim of abuse/ assault and it just backfires on you. I have not turned in any doctors for abuse, but I have sustained abuse by a number of physicians. I was 19 the first time something happened. The last time I was mistreated/ abuse occurred, was 2 years ago. I want to say that that time was only verbal abuse and maybe also neglect. A good friend was with me at the time and witnessed the whole event. I’m not downplaying verbal abuse. That’s hurts a lot too! My heart has been crushed several times, even over the past 2 years, by “ people “ who don’t believe me or think it’s mental or don’t want to know how much pain I’m in or that I’m suffering at all or think I should be able to work. I know “ me”. I can look at myself and know in my heart that I don’t have any ulterior motives related to my health or anything. I’m not trying to get away with anything or try to deceive anyone. That is what I believe about you too. Don’t give up Shatosa. Don’t give up. You deserve the BEST treatment possible. Good luck :hugs: And stay close to your Ben’s Friends Fibro family. :person_red_hair:t2::bearded_person:t4::blonde_woman::older_woman:t3::man_white_haired:t6::child:t5::woman:t3::woman_with_headscarf:t3::man_with_turban:t5:

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Thank you! Sorry I never received notice of your reply. Google plays games with my email. Again, thank you!