Long post - sorry
This year my partner and I decided to get married (we have been together for 6 years now, engaged for 2). A few months later and he confesses that he has imagined what life would be without me, being able to do what he wants when he wants, without having to look after me.
You see my fibro is severe and so I am dependent on him… having him want to leave me was like breaking my heart into a million pieces. He knows if he left then I would have nothing to live for anymore. I dont hold that over him though. We had so many discussions after that. Were still getting married at the end of the year. He loves me and reassures me that he would never leave me even though he had doubts.
The problem now is that every day I feel like I’m not good enough for him. That I’ve taken what could’ve been a normal life with a normal fun energetic wife away from him. I cry myself to sleep every night because I imagine what things would be like if I just left this world. I feel like hes the one thing that I really dont deserve. I feel like me being someone with fibro, I’m ruining his whole life.
I wish I could just stop feeling like this.