The last few days have been rough - the pain flared up and my activity levels bottomed out. I’ve maxed out on Tylenol, Aleve and Ibuprofen and it barely takes the edge off. I went to church yesterday and pasted a “everything is great” smile on my face but I know it didn’t really hide the pain. Then I came home and slept for 3 hours. I probably would have slept longer than that but my nap was interrupted.
I was trying to take it easier today (and ignore the work that needs done); took another nap this morning and was just beginning to think I might be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel - then I discovered it was only another train. My son learned they were starting a new job tomorrow - he does roofing and carpentry work - AND they would be leaving tonight. The job is a couple hours away so they are staying there during the week and coming home on the weekends. We had only a few hours to get his tools and clothes, etc. packed, which of course meant a trip to town to do laundry and pick up supplies. At least he had that much warning but it left us scrambling.
And now I am really flaring. My back and ribs feel like they are in a vise grip and my back keeps spasming. And I feel like I should be asking someone if they got the license plate of that truck?
I have so much that I need to do, yet I simply can’t keep up. There is always the daily dozen - dishes, meals, chasing dust bunnies, etc. And I can never seem to get it all. The lawn needs mowed or more accurately maybe cut and bailed as prairie hay at this point. I was hoping to get it mowed before he left but the work schedule last week meant it would have to wait till the weekend - and then storms derailed it then. So now it will be at least another week before it happens. I can help mow, if I am not flaring and I take frequent breaks, but I can’t pull hard enough any more to get the mower started. We’ve talked about get an electric start mower but well that’s not an option yet.
I guess I am having a pity party tonight. I try hard to not let it get me down, to focus more on what I can do rather than what I can’t, etc. But recently I am having a hard time with it. I really need to have some income. Right now I am a stay at home mom (I get child support and my son helps contribute some to household expenses) but I seriously wonder if I can work anymore. Work around here is harder to get anyway (being we are rural you are going to have a lengthy commute regardless of the job) but then with everything else . . .
I was able to find a job last spring but wasn’t able to keep it. By the end of the 3rd day my boss was thinking I might need a trip to the ER and “suggested” that this might not be working out and we agreed I would not be coming back in. It was weeks before I began even seeing improvement. Now I “manage” things with Tylenol, Aleve and Ibuprofen, muscle creams, etc. and by restricting my activities. I have lost so many things that I once enjoyed. How do I work when I can’t even keep up with routine housework?
I have dealt with this for nearly 14 years and feel like I should be able to handle it better but it seems like I am struggling just to cope, to survive. I am trying to work with a doctor but feel like I am getting a run around there. I also have limited funds (and no insurance) for doctoring, so not sure how much I can really do anyway.