Some people can be so

Hurtful! I went to the grocery store with my husband today, just for a quick few things. I often have to use a motorized cart the store provides. It makes for a faster trip. Why do people always stare at you like you have the plague?! Granted I’m 30 and look young, let alone like there is something wrong with me but its so hurtful the way people stare and mutter things when passing by. I would never treat another person that way! The only thing I can do is hold my head up but some days it’s just too much to take and today was that day.

Next time as hard as it is hold your head up when they stare an when they are looking say hi how are you feeling today? I know a lot better then I’am .That will make them think before they stare at anyone again hang in there melissa

*hugs*, I know exactly what you mean, some times when I am in the shop I cannot manage to get round, especially when it is a supermarket or big shop and I ask to use to in store electric trolley things. About half the time staff are really helpful and say yes and about half the time I get told things like "you do not look disabled" and "are you seriously that lazy?" etc

Even when I get a nice store the people in the shop give me such filthy looks and when I stand up to get something from the top shelf they tut at me and make comments. It is so hurtful as you say. The problem is fibro is an invisible illness and people cannot understand that not all disabilities are obvious.

Hold your head up high and ignore them. That is the only way of getting by I find, that and asking them what they are looking at if they stare for too long xx

I ride one too in the stores and always fear the aspect of getting the same treatment. I'm so sorry for you. It IS hurtful, and it's awful to have to feel shame over an illness that we cannot control. But you have every right to use that scooter because you never know what your body's going to do next. If they can't deal with it, tough. They're the ones who get to walk back to their cars without pain or fatigue. You can't, so you get to use the scooter. :-PPPPP to them.

BTW, how do you like shopping in it? I'm a newbie to it and sometimes have trouble manuvering it. That gets embarrassing when you think you might run someone over with it. How do you feel after using it? I found myself to be less tired, although still tired overall. But before using it, I was on the verge of falling over from pain and fatigue when I pushed a wagon.

And FYI: Those of you who like shopping at Target, they have a bunch of these scooters which is great because Target is huge and hard to walk through.

GOOD response!

What a shame that with all this world has gone through, that human beings have to be so disconnected and judgmental!

I saw a little girl in the Rheumatologist's office, couldn't have been more than 10 in a wheel chair, the kind you never get out of, I had to go to the bathroom so she would not see the tears. It just gets me every single time! I did not get a chance to talk to her, she had her head down avoiding everyone.

I wanted to reach out to her, but knew I would just be a mess, so I just kept quiet, hoping that maybe next time I will be strong enough to be up-lifting!

I am a firm believer in the kill them with kindness philosophy - I will smile and ask if they can get something from a top shelf while explaining that I have chronic illness that prevents me from moving too much today. My husband prefers a more passive-aggressive approach like mentioning my FM as we pass people and then will loudly say how proud he is of me for getting out even though I can't walk today. Usually we get strange looks, but some people then show interest and compassion. I have always been an advocate for others, it is a little more difficult to be an advocate for myself. However you choose to handle it, know that you have a community that supports you!



I also use the scooters provided by the store and I could care less if someone gives me the stink eye. The bottom line is that I am there to shop. It is hard enough to get to the store, get the scooter, get through the whole supermarket without the scooter running out of juice, wait in line, get my stuff up on the conveyor belt, get the scooter to my car and back inside, drive home, GET THE GROCERIES INSIDE (for me that is the hardest part!) and finally, put the groceries away. By that time, I am so exhausted that I am incapable of doing anything else.

My suggestion is to not worry about things you cannot control. I suppose if someone is really looking at you in an obnoxious-she-has-something-to-get-off-her-chest way, you could ask her "Can I help you?". One time I did this and the accusatorial woman asked why I was using the scooter. I asked her why she needed to know to which she replied that these chairs are reserved for the elderly and people with obvious disabilities. "Exactly what is an 'Obvious Disability'?" I made the suggestion that the store is hiring old people to stand by the scooters and make sure that each potential user meets her strict guidelines. She huffed and walked away. We kept passing each other as we went up and down the aisles. "Hola! Que Pasa?" I would say in baking goods. "Wazzzzzzz'uuuppppppppppp" I said as we passed each other in the cereal aisle. In paper products, I would cough and stick out my shaking hand, all the while repeating "Alms, Alms, Alms for the poor, good citizen. A single piece of gold is all I ask. Alms for the poor."

Usually, I do not get that aggressive BUT there is a time and a place for everything. When the situation calls for it, I feel long-term, chronic pain allows me to be a smarty-pants every so often.

Amanda, if you need the scooter, THAT IS WHAT IT IS THERE FOR, SO USE IT. The same thing applies for Mass Transit, subways, metro-cars, speedline, etc., They make certain seats available for people who are elderly or disabled. Well, guess what? That's me! I'm disabled and I feel old. The nerve of that person! While using it, don't give two shits what people are thinking. They could be constipated and giving everyone the same look!!!!!

Have a wonderful day. Marc

Hi Petunia Girl,

Those motorized carts take some getting used to, that’s for sure! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been cruising along not paying attention and my hubby will stop in front of me. I’ve run him over a few times, LOL! He’s a good sport about it though. :slight_smile:
I never go full speed around carts and racks, my luck I would crash into one and knock it over. I’ve run into those center aisle freezers a few times…that will get you some interesting looks, lol.
My advice is to just go slow and steady until you get the hang of it. You’ll be pulling wheelies in the aisles before you know it. :wink: Good luck!

Hello all,

I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to those of you who have posted. It’s so nice to finally belong somewhere with people who understand what I go through every day. Thank you again and gentle hugs to all!


I hear ya, maybe you should start carrying a cane, put a nasal canula in your nose, plaster some bandages to your body, have a blood pressure cuff hanging from your arm and don't forget to wear a helmet, that will give them something to gawk at. There are a lot of people that shouldn't use a motorized cart, but they do, so it ruins it for people that do need them. Next time you go just hold your head up proud and know that people are going to stare, just smile back. Don't give strangers the power to ruin your day or self esteem. Leave em in your dust.