I decided to go see a psychologist to talk about being in pain all the time. I had gone to see a psychologist when I first got Fibromyalgia I was having a really hard time dealing with it. I was in pain all the time and I used to eat a lot of sweets so that I could feel good for just that moment. Needless to say I gained a lot of weight. I don’t do that anymore but I have noticed that lately I have been buying stuff on line. Costume jewelry which I really don’t need. I finally asked my husband to change the password to paypal so that I couldn’t buy anymore crap. He did limit me to one item a month. Which is sweet considering I have enough junk jewelry to fill 3 jewelry boxes. And I have real jewelry too so I don’t understand why I keep buying more. I think it’s because I makes me feel good for that moment to buy something pretty even though I really really don’t need or really want it. I feel like I’m going crazy. I also am feeling like I just don’t want to be bothered by anyone anymore. I have been on facebook for years but I never posted anything just looked around and saw what other people were doing. Not until recently did I post anything and I also created a Instagram account I thought I would try reaching out to other people and let them know I’m here and what I’m doing. That didn’t last very long I closed down my Instagram account. I can feel myself withdrawing. I pretty much want to be left alone but I obviously don’t want to be left alone because here I am. I don’t know I’m confused, in pain and want to do more with my life then I’m doing right now but I’m just too tired. Just taking a shower and getting ready for the day is a big deal for me. I’m exhausted afterwards. I’m hoping a pain counselor can help me feel better about myself. You would think after 20 years I would be dealing with this better but it just never does get better. I feel so depressed at the moment I need to snap out of it. Thanks for listening.
There is No “snap out of it” for depression. One does not “choose” to be depressed. It is not a “state” of mind It is A Chemical Imbalance. & if you want to feel good for a moment, come on here & try to help someone on here. 'cause you are Worth being known. You Are Needed. & if you cannot find a post to help because you don’t know an answer, just let him/her know that you understand the Pain, the Low self esteem, the Tiredness & the Love you can share. That is what I started doing & it makes me feel Needed. & Loved. Peace, Love & Light. Maggi.
Thank you for responding to my post. I will take your advice and try to help those who are dealing with Fibromyalgia and other issues and I can add my 2 cents worth of knowledge.
Hi fibroflare59! I am so glad you posted that information about yourself. I was just diagnosed three weeks ago. I can totally relate to the eating sweet treats and ordering online. I gained 5 pounds in 10 days because eating makes me feel better and I loved to order online because it’s like getting a special gift in the mail just for you and you know you are going to like it. I stopped ordering online last week. Even though it’s only small items I purchase, it all adds up. And since I don’t know what my future holds related to work, I have to be careful with money. Right now I’m not working and am on work disability. I see a therapist and it really helps. I’ve been seeing one for several years. I also understand about depression. A friend told a bunch of us that whatever circumstance we are in, rich or poor, in pain or not, in a wheelchair or living our last days, we can always choose to be nice and kind to everyone we meet. So for the last two weeks while I’ve been in severe pain, at times crying by myself, when I see someone I give them a big smile. I don’t know who they are but I smile. If I do know the person, I again smile then say something nice to them. It isn’t always easy and if they ask me how I’m doing, I tell them the truth. But it has made me feel better. Fibroflare59, I mean it when I say, you are a worthwhile and valuable person. Seek out all the help you need whatever that looks like. For me, sometimes I need an adjustment in my depression medications but most of the time, I just need to talk to someone. I never in my life thought I’d be in chronic pain. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I’m still learning and trying to understand fibromyalgia. You are not alone! God Bless!
Wow we sound so similar. I totally agree with you about everything except when people ask me how I am doing I always say fine or good. People ask to be polite but they really don’t want to hear that you’re in pain and feeling bad. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me or their pity. I just like you put a big smile on my face and be as nice as I can be. Why burden someone else especially someone who is just a acquaintance. I did go to a pain counselor when I lived in Texas, he himself was in constant pain from a horse accident so he kind of understood. He had a lot of back issues. We have a lot of all over pain so it’s a little different. But thank you for responding to my post and understanding what I’m going through. I really appreciate it very much. I hope you feel better or at least have some get some relief anyway you can.
I understand the buying
Whenever I feel well enough to go out, I’ll spend money I don’t need to spend. Sometimes I’ll buy stuff and go home and ask myself “Do I need this or want this?” I’m on a fixed income and spending has to be limited.
I was fortunate to keep in touch with my high school friends. So made plans to have dinner once a month. It grows sometimes to 10 people, but pretty much just 5 or so. We are all turning 65 so I’ve found we all have problems. Maybe not the same, or as severe but it’s great support. Sometimes I do it all up, and other times I’m lucky to get my teeth brushed but I go. They know it can be difficult for me to set on certain chairs through dinner.
You are definitely not alone, but if there is anyone you can reach out to, please do. It is worth it. It’s been almost 2 years now.
Remember tomorrow is not promised.
Oh, and I have carts on most online stores I just never hit the buy button. It takes my mind off the symptoms for a short time. Continue therapy, you are worth it, as I am also.
Hi! My name is Kristin and I just wanted to let you know that I have done the same exact things you have regarding the shopping and you are exactly correct about it being a distraction from your current state of mind, i.e. pain. I have been dealing with a MAJOR flare up of Fibro and CFS- I have NEVER felt this ill in my life and I was diagnosed in 2004. Taking a shower leaves me exhausted and I literally begin to shake all over, I get nauseous, cold sweats and the vertigo/dizziness in unreal. I have been typing this for a minute or two and already my arms and hands are beginning to shake. So just know that you are NOT alone and this website is great for validation. I think that that is one of my biggest concerns, validation. I have to stop for now, good luck to you!
I dread showers. I have all the time in the world but it’s exhausting. I have to shower a day ahead of anything. I shake also, long before I was diagnosed. Thought it just ran in the family. No answers here just support and praying blessings to you.
have they checked your vit d levels? I was able to manage my fibro fairly well…until my vit d tanked one winter…i had shaking and weakness and felt like 90…i was forgetful and sleepy …
Hi, I’m Cathy and I’ve had fibro for about 15 years. The shower can be hard for me sometimes. When I broke my knee a year ago, I got a plastic chair so I could sit in the shower and prop my leg up. Sitting helps me so I don’t get dizzy and nauseous as much.
Thank you everyone for responding to my post. I did try a counselor but I just didn’t think he understood what I was going through so I stopped seeing him. I instead joined a chronic pain support group that meets twice a month. I think I’m doing better now. I’m not buying stuff online anymore the way i was. So that’s good. I’m still in a lot of pain and I’m so tired all the time. I swear yesterday I was too tired to take a shower. i barely got out of bed. Today is better I at least took a shower which to most people is no problem but to someone who has a chronic illness it’s a big deal. I’m taking more vitamins I added D3 and a supplement for testosterone since my is very low. Yes even women need testosterone. I just started so I’m hoping it helps.
I’m so glad you found a support group. I’d encourage you to seek out a therapist as well if you feel it would be helpful. Sometimes it takes a few people to find the right therapist. You really have to click with this person and they don’t have to understand what you are going through…my therapist doesn’t but she’s empathetic and compassionate so it’s helpful anyway. I was diagnosed in 2009 but had it for a year or so before that as well as endometriosis since I was a teen. I’m currently in a two month flare from getting a severe virus in August. It’s hard working 50 hours a week plus commuting. (I’m a nanny and care for 4 kids. ). I’m so exhausted.