Pills, Diary and Heels

Hey everyone,

Sorry I havent been on life just hasnt been the kindest lately, as you guys probably know I keep a diary for myself and a few loose pages of "remind myself to mention to the doctor that ...." to keep some sort order in the chaos that is Fibromyalgia..

One of the major issues I've had besides widespread pain is that I've had chronic migraines which is the norm for me but who knew there was different types? Apparently mine are Aura Migraines and they are a courtesy sign that I need to start heeding from my body, they mean according my diary that I'm on overload and need to find a dark room fast, I had never caught that before.

Another issue is my mobility I consider myself a proud person, I hate the Idea of using my assistive device but pride hurts less to swallow than pain, and I've noticed that almost 99% of the time before my mobility and energy goes down to 0 theres this gap of time of maybe 5 minutes where I begin to hurt all on my side and I begin to limp harder. I consider that if I perhaps took a break then before I blew my legs out I probably wouldnt depend on someone to carry me off or worry about my joints locking up.

Lastly I wonder at myself and if I'm being hypervigilant and if perhaps we all should be doing this. Or if its just my mind who just really really wants to be back to her old self without all the pills looking for a quick fix to all my problems... I know the road to normal isnt gonna be easy but I cant help but look at these practical nurses power walking who take my vitals in heels who say but I have fibromyalgia too, and here I am wearing flats wishing I could wear heels without my legs screaming bloody murder, wondering if and when I'll ever be able to do that again...


Thank you ! I keep talking to the doctors they keep thinking its PTSD and fibromyalgia making my life living hell but I dont think im all that bad off but who knows.. I am trying to keep a cheery attitude but im so dang blue and I cant seem to shake it lately Im back to sleeping alot I've started keeping a daily chart so they can stop being so dismissive I know we all hurt and i know that is my primary symptom but Im tired of guestimating when i see them because i cant remeber to bring my notebook so ive created a chart i can see on my phone :)