Oh, so much baggage, Freedom! I’m sorry these things have happened in your life, but I don’t “feel sorry” for you. There’s a fine line, isn’t there, between feeling empathy and “feeling sorry” for someone. For me, “empathy” implies understanding and a feeling of confidence that the other person’s struggle will be productive and lead somewhere. On the other hand, “feeling sorry” for someone has a connotation of hopelessness. That’s the way I see it anyway: you don’t sound one bit like someone who is without hope.
You seem to understand your situation really well, Freedom, and I guess that’s the first step to resolving the problems, dilemmas and grief that you’re going through. I’m not sure that I agree with you on one point, though: “It was all my fault.” There’s nobody here who hasn’t made bad choices in their life (even REALLY bad choices) but the choices that we make are always the product of the circumstances that we’re in at the time, and what seems to be the best – or only – alternative to us at that point in our life. I don’t think making any bad choice can ever be labelled “all my fault”.
All that said, you can’t change the choices you made then, but you most definitely can choose how to react to them now and carry on from this point. What’s your plan for making the best of what you have now, and where you find yourself? I hope this community is part of your plan, and that you feel good about having us as a sounding board for your thoughts.
Because that’s what we’re here for. So back to the question: How are you going to make the best of what you have now, and where you find yourself?
We’re here for you Freedom! Big virtual hugs for you!
Seenie from ModSupport
PS Have you got a picture of your furry bestie for us?