Not doing so well

I won’t type in my whole story here, but I’ve been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia for several years now. the last couple months have by far been the worst pain wise, in my life. I’ve found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. Everything I try either just doesn’t help or only helps very temporarily. The Last few days have been really bad. I’m crying multiple times daily and thinking about terrible things. This morning I woke up crying. I Called and scheduled an appointment with my rheumatologist but he’s booked a month out, so I also scheduled with my primary doctor. In my honest opinion I think it’ll be a waste of time because they just want to pump me full of drugs that don’t work, but it’s all I could think of to do.

My job is extremely physical and I have a busy home life. My job and my family are being heavily affected by this. I can barely do my job at all at this point and my husband has taken over almost all the chores, which I’m thankful for but Also makes me feel useless. I dropped the kids off this morning and came home (its my day off) and started doing dishes and about 2 plates in, burst in to tears because I’m hurting so bad, but I didn’t stop because doing nothing makes me feel like garbage. I’m sitting here writing this, bawling my eyes out.

My girls and my husband are so amazing and understanding, but that’s where my support ends. People I thought were my great friends have been blowing me off the last couple months since I’ve gotten worse. I’m in so much pain physically and emotionally, I dont even know what to do. Sorry guys, I just had to get this out. :heart: thanks for listening!

Hello Tmama,
I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. When I read peoples’ stories it often amazes me to hear how much they are putting up with. You sound like a strong lady, still working full-time, and bringing up a family…you have my utmost admiration! I don’t suppose that helps you much at the moment tho’. I think when it does get too much, and it will, you have to be kind to yourself. You may have to look at how you are managing the Fibro, p’raps some meds aren’t working as well, and need changing. Pacing, gentle exercise, warm salt baths, Mindfulness and relaxation might be ways forward, if you have not tried already. Can you consider changes in your work pattern… reduced hours, adaptations? I don’t know what is possible for you. I am so glad to hear you are blessed with a lovely family, and I don’t suppose they think you are useless! I always think it is good to vent on hear, saves our loved ones getting it! There is always someone here to listen, sending positive and healing thoughts your way.
Take care, Anne

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Good morning. Sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. Down times are rough for sure. It sounds like you have a great in house support system. I would suggest you take time each day for just you. As a mom you will probably feel guilty at first but in the long run you will feel a bit better and and be able to handle more of the “mom” things. It’s tough having this disease and a family to tend to. You have to take care of YOU. It took me a long time to realize that. I have days that I still struggle with it. I have heard that massages help. Also I have been doing aqua therapy. This seems to be helping as well. Please don’t apologize for venting!!! We all need to vent at some point.
Take care of yourself,