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Living With Fibromyalgia - Online Support Group

Meltdown

#1

I had a meltdown last week about returning to work. I work full time in a school, so I have had 6 weeks of the summer off, 1 week to go. Whilst off I’ve been able to pace myself and do so much more then normal, I’ve felt well more and had less fatigue and pain. Been amazing to feel more normal. At work though all my energy goes into the completing the day! I come home at 4 like a zombie, and not able to do anything, no social life, puts a strain on my relationship with my husband, all I do is come home have dinner and go to bed straight away. I’m dreading returning to this. I love my job but I don’t want to be there. My husband and I are currently working on me coming out of work but at the moment we just can’t afford it. I get so depressed at work. Anyone else have to work with fibro and feel like this?

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#2

I too work full time as a nurse for one of the doctors in a busy nephrology practice. I can understand how you feel because all of my energy is spent getting through the work week. And it’s not a job where I just take blood pressures and see patients in and out. There’s a lot more going on such as procedure scheduling, ordering labs and prescriptions and being a counselor to my patients, listening to them explain their ailments as well as issues within their families, etc. I LOVE my job and absolutely love my patients, but by the end of the week I’m exhausted. I used to love to do things on the weekends like going to a movie, various seasonal festivals in my area, shopping. But now my weekends are spent “recovering” from the week. I’m also going through a divorce so I have emotional pain as well. Some days I get super depressed and just don’t even leave my apartment for groceries that I need. Other days are good. Unfortunately I can’t take anything for depression because I can’t tolerate any SSRIs. As far as fibro meds I’m just on gabapentin and tramadol. So yeah, pain isn’t managed very well. Thank goodness for Epsom salts! Don’t know if anyone else can relate, but I just feel like I have no “quality” of life since fibro and there’s just no enjoyment. Then add being single again on top of it…Anyway we all get through the best we can and look forward to a “good” day. :slight_smile:

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#3

You are very brave and very strong I find it inspiring that you can keep working full-time without having a meltdown I have had a couple @work a couple when I get lost on the road several more at home . My prayers are with you I am laying in bed right now I’m so glad I have you want to talk to

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#4

I’ve been having this problem, too. I’m a college professor so I had the summer off. I normally work on research during the summer, but I felt so yucky this summer that I just spent my summer resting. (As an added bonus, I apparently had mono.) At any rate, I’ve struggled to get back into work mode this semester. I’m tired most of the time. Sometimes, I just can’t focus. When I feel good, the last thing I want to do is work. I want to just enjoy life. The whole thing is frustrating. That being said, I’m grateful that I have the kind of job that allowed me to take some extra time off during the summer. Most people with autoimmune diseases don’t have that sort of opportunity.

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#5

Well thank you. I wish I could work part-time but I have to pay the bills! There’s no way I could even consider disability because I just can’t jump through all the “hoops” required, not to mention I wouldn’t even get enough money to live on. I just plug through every day. Thankfully the flare that I’ve been in for a couple of months has seemed to have subsided. Every bit helps! And yes, there are days at work where I just go into the bathroom and whimper a bit until I can get myself together. Then I go home and cry it out lol. I don’t even try to explain my pain to people anymore because I just find it pointless. Thank you so much for your prayers. :slight_smile:

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#6

I can so relate to being so very tired and just not being able to focus. I absolutely hate it. Then when I have to take a tramadol at work, it makes it even worse. Ugh. I can also relate to just wanting to do something fun on the days you feel good. I wish you the best for this semester. Hang in there!

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#7

Too bad we can’t all live together and everybody pitching in money and just like a commune of people who understand
I really need to work more I work 5 to 11 today do you ever get nauseous today I was crying and whimpering is the perfect word whimpering
It’s like we are on the same wavelength I couldn’t believe you said going to the bathroom and cry and whimper
I am thinking of you and sending prayers and love so nice to have someone to talk to

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#8

I worked in education too and had to leave. I couldn’t handle it dealing with the pain and it continued to get worse and new symptoms came all of the time. I was off work more than I was there because I was too sick or had doctor appointments to go to. Then being on meds didn’t make it better for me but worse. I was good for the longest time smiling and putting on an act and keeping it to myself until I just couldn’t do it anymore and it was affecting my job. I would drive to work crying and leaving work crying. I was going to the bathroom at work and having crying episodes. Then it came to the point that I was just not willing to live this way anymore and something had to give. I went to see my doctor and told him and I haven’t been back since. Fibro is a beast but I am not willing to let it beat me even though I keep getting worse.

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#9

I thought t this was me, right down to crying I. the bathroom!My heart and prayers go to all of you because I know how hard this is everyone thinks I’m a hypochondriac I want to screa but then just like the James Taylor song I know I got a friend I love you guys

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#10

I know this feeling all to well. I have to work to pay the bills but, you know how much work it is just to get off the bed. I come to work and play some really soft mediation music and breathe. Its the only way I can cope. I know people say Mondays are the worst but for Fibro sufferers, Monday is a day in hell. After you go through the weekend trying to love your life normally, Monday comes around and you are so sore and in pain, because you pushed to hard our partied a little more than you should. I can tel you all that you are not alone and you definitely need to have your spouse’s support.

#11

Yes I feel this way too. I worked full time as a teacher for several years. I was constantly exhausted, After getting pregnant at 39 (third baby) I decided to go to part time teaching to take off some of the stress and burden. It has helped to take a less stressful job, but now I make less money and struggle with that. It is a never ending battle that really doesn’t seem to get any better. Very few people including my estranged husband get it, My best days are when I control the anxiety basically by not trying to control anything else. I don’t have any fight left in me, and so I have become complacent about most everything in my life. I take anxiety medicine everyday to try to control the panic attacks, but even that is sometimes not enough. So I understand your struggles and pray for you. It helps to have great support at home. I do not. I hope your husband sees your struggles and at least empathizes. Mine does not. Mine actually makes my symptoms worse. Unfortunately it has led to our separation and appears as though it will continue in that manner toward divorce. He just won’t take the time to research and find out what I’m really going through. It’s a shame how fibro can affect every aspect of your life and tear it all down so quickly. I hope your situation works out better than mine has.

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#12

I do too. I have the best most understanding boss ever.but it’s still really hard to get my 40 hours in. I melt down in private but feel I’m on the verge to break down at work. Every day I smile threw the pain. Your not alone hunni. I’ll continue to pray for all of us.

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#13

I’m a nanny and have been working 50 hours a week plus I commute an hour to and from work each day. I had hand foot and mouth disease really severely in August and I’ve been in a constant flare since then. I do nothing but go to work then back home. I’m so exhausted and in pain. Was potty training one of the kids a couple weeks ago…poop everywhere, baby screaming…I totally broke down and cried.
I had a hysterectomy last December and for four months had the least amount of fibro pain I’ve had in ten years. I’m convinced it’s because all I did for three weeks was rest and then for a couple months I did nothing but work and rest.

#14

This is what my husband and I have been dealing with. I work at a school as well, part-time. I want to graduate from school so bad so I can be a teacher but honestly working full-time is so scary to me, I know I will just get worse and there are NO decent jobs outside of a school that pays decent and isn’t completely exhausting over long hours.

I hope you can find relief soon!

#15

My heartfelt sympathies go out to all of you. I dread going to work everyday. I rest on the weekends. I’m 59 and have been at the same job for over 17 years. I was diagnosed with fibro about 9 years ago. The pain is much better than my early days, but the fatigue and exhaustion has gotten worse. My job is stressful and it takes everything out of me. I want to do something different, but my husband wants me to hang in there for a little while longer. I’m trying, but I feel like I’m going to break down. Honestly, this last year has been overwhelming and I know that God has given me strength. But I think he’s also calling me to do something different with my career. Hang in there all of you.

#16

Totally know how you feel. I was teaching full time with fibro and struggling so much last year and was lucky that my boss is so understanding and was able to go into a job share with another teacher on maternity this year. I had hoped it would be easier but actually finding it harder to ignore my symptoms as things seem to be worse and I think having the two days not working has made me see what life is like outside of school. Previously I worked myself into the ground to be the best teacher i could be; which I can’t help feeling is what sparked the fibro in the first place! Now it is so hard to commit to school and have the same passion I used to and balance flare ups. My boyfriend is very supportive but I do feel guilty that he is now the main earner. I actually started up a craft/card making business on the side to help earn a little bit more (crazy when I should be resting but something I always dreamed of doing) which has surpassed all of my expectations! Maybe not steady money every month but I love making things and being able to work at my own pace for myself. May actually leave teaching next year which is scary, but maybe for the best.

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#17

So inspiring that you’ve been able to find joy and create during this huge shift. I am passionate for teaching and am currently trying to earn a BA in Sp/Ed. Have you thought about substituting? That is what I am going to try because my pain is also keeping me from working full-time and it’s a pain. Glad you have a supportive boyfriend, you both sound like you’re a great team!:relaxed:

#18

Wow realised how long it’s been since I was last on this site! Am actually going to start substituting in a couple of months time, and putting myself forward for an art coaching job with adults and young people which sounds great and a lot more flexible and relaxed than classroom teaching!