My name is Gina. I live in England and i am 20 years old but feel like i am 50.
It all started when i was almost 15, I fell onto my knee on a hard surface, which ended up tearing the cartilage (very painful) I had many doctors appointment, Physiotherapy and many Pain killers. Eventually they diagnosed me as having syratic arthritis (Don't know how to spell it) which later turned out to be a false diagnoses But i learnt to live with the fact my knee or life would never be the same.
As the years went on slowly conditions started unfolding, Carpal Tunnel syndrome, Asthma, Migraines, Depression started, Stomach problems (which landed me in hospital for a week), IBS and many more.
As the doctors began realising how much of a strain all of these doctors appointments, and the pain were causing me they started to look into the causing of all this. I was diagnosed when i was 19 after the doctor giving me false hope that it might have been something else.
All of this made the depression worse as i realised it was no longer something that would maybe go away in the future. I started to believe i would never get better and slowly giving up on life waisting my days lying in bed, or watching TV, never leaving the house. I just thought this was the end no point in living anymore, obviously no one knew what i was thinking no one even knew i was depressed or what i was going through, I felt like i had the weight of the world on my shoulders with no one to confide in, not even my best friend.
Everyone noticed changes in me I was no longer out going and bubbly i was shy and quite so much to the point i began pushing friends and family away, So no one would ever be able to see me weak.
I eventually started letting people in and explaining how depressed i was and how i just wanted to give up. Everyone tried to help but unfortunately no one understands what i am going through.
I started Hypnotherapy to see if maybe it would help, I am still carrying this on but i am afraid it is not helping and i am just going down hill again. I feel like i am at the bottom of a cliff and overtime i get a little bit higher up towards the sunshine and happy place, I just get pushed back down to start again. I just can't stop thinking maybe it would be easier if i gave up all together? It is just too difficult daily tasks are a strain. How do I cope?
Any help and advise would be greatly appreciated as I have no one else to turn to..