I recently was terminated from a job I just started in act 2011 due to number of absences I had from Oct to May. Every single absence I had except for the exception of one which was due to my daughter falling sick at school, were due to fibro flare ups. I am 22 years old a mother of a 5 year old girl and I am currently 5 months pregnant. I guess I joined this site because I just feel so stressed and lost. I have never lost a job before and it really kills me that I only lost this one because of a syndrome I can't control 100% of the time. Most days I can manage through the daily pain and make it to work. But then there are those days where just breathing causes more pain then anything I can bare. I feel like I am failing my family and it scares me to think where my finances are going to come these next few weeks until I can hopefully find a new job. I have never felt so down before and it is causing my fibro to flare up more each day from the stress. I lost my insurance so I can't go to prenatal care, I have more bills then I can pay. We were just barely making it before with two pay checks now with one.... I just don't see how we will ever survive. Trying to find a new job that not only will compensate according to our needs and accommodate my condition is hard enough especially in this economy, but on top of that finding a company who is willing to hire someone 5 months pregnant is near impossible. Im scared and I just don't know what I can do anymore.
Hang in there.
Do you have any other family who can help til you can get back on your feet?.
I don’t know where you are from but isn’t there any type of free or womens clinic you
can go to.You need to take care of the baby on the way.
Not to judge but that is young to have a five year old.
You need to also seek family planning.
I know the feeling hun. Which state are you in? Do they have a fmla act? Family medical leave act. Looks like your going to have to apply for assistance. You need prenatal care hun. I hope you get some relief. I found out that when I was prego I felt better and the.doc think its because the.level of hormones in my system. I hope you figure it out soon.
You have come to the best place there is, if we have not been there, we are unfortunately heading that way, kicking and screaming all the way! I feel your pain, it is a crushing feeling and your hands are more than full right now. You will find all the strong shoulders you need right here, but you need to also find some financial support through SSI. Go to the as quickly as possibe and get the process started, I know it is not what you want, but it is what it is there for.
I know you are hurting, it will get better, really. I am sure your Doctor will stand with you and help you, and there is nearly always someone here to talk to, just start a discussion and let us know how you are feeling, ask us questions, we will do our very best to send you in the right direction.
Cry it out, then get up and get going, until you can get some help from a dear friend or family member.
Wishing you the best,
I'm so sorry hon. I started losing all my jobs due to absence so I statred finding jobs I could do at home. I usually had 3 at a time for the whole time I raised my kids. Here's the link for Colorado medicaid for children, families and pregnant women. http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite/HCPF/HCPF/1197969485591
Yeah I have my family and I am not single. Everythings actually been just fine up until now. My insurance is still going to cover for right now up through the end of June and then I have the option of picking up my insurance and paying the full premium costs to continue with it so its not really something that I am getting care for my baby because I am. So I apologize if it was taken a different way. I am mainly saying that the overall not having a job is the scary part. I have bills like I am sure all of you do, rent utilities, car insurance, phones etc and then picking up my insurance premiums which could cost up to 300$ a month. I don't know how we will ever make that. Im in colorado. We do have FMLA however since i wasn't eligible for receiving FMLA due to its required to be employed a year I wasn't able to get the benefits of time off like I needed. The hardest part with fibro is that 2-3 days i will feel fine and then the next day i can't move. You can't really plan for those days and its not something that you need extended time off unless it hits you for several days or weeks at a time which mine does occasionally but most of my time off I need is not something you can plan just one day I will wake up and can't move. Theres no way to ask for those days off in advance because you don't know there coming. So I don't know how to make it work with a job when I can't predict my condition.
Also - irishroots - Yes, I was young when I had my daughter, but I don't think that should matter to you or anyone else. I don't regret one second or one choice I made. Was it planned? obviously not, but nothing has helped me through this condition and my day to day life more then my child. And actually I don't know about your own personal beliefs, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. And I know without a doubt now that if I didn't have my daughter when I did I wouldn't be here today. I have a lot of things going on in my life since I was little and not just with the fibro. I have dealt with a lot of health issues, family issues, bi polar, anxiety, abuse concussions and everyone I know has told me that if I didn't have my daughter young I probably would have never had kids. So it was a blessing that she came when she did. Unfortunately I am not as lucky this time around and my pregnancy is actually making my health issues and fibro worse. I think a lot of it has to do with the stress I have from trying to figure out how i can pay for my daughters school next week or put gas in the car because being fired was not something I saw coming at all.
Im really looking for support in the means of if someone else has ever lost a job due to their fibro flare ups and what they did and if there is anywhere I can go for assistance or support. I filed for unemployment along with state benefits, but my unemployment will most likely be denied due to I was fired and the companies records will show it was due to excessive absences in a 7 mth period since I started. I guess I'm not really looking to be told about getting prenatal care due to I am already a mother I know what I need to do for my kids. But I started posting on this site because of my fibro and thats what I'm hoping to get support and advise on. My fibro is getting worse and worse with each day because of the amount of stress I'm dealing with. Last time my fibro got serve I was bed ridden for 6 months almost and I don't ever want to be to that point again. My mom is helping me look into what options I may have in my position because it it getting to the point where working a regular job may no longer be an option for me but she is in the dark about this as much as I am. I am hoping someone might have some advise or give me a direction to look in to hopefully be able to be able to support my family.
Thank you very much. Your right SSI is something I really have been trying to avoid. I don't like the thought of filing for disability or anything else of the sort just because I'm still young and I hate to think of myself as "disabled" and I just want to be able to do things on my own. My family has been saying the same thing as well and it is getting to that point. Emotional support has really been the best thing so I appreciate your reply.
Thank you, my daughter is currently on medicaid but I will definitely check into getting myself back on it as well. I actually have been looking for a job I can work from home. If you have any suggestions where I should start it would be greatly appreciated because I have been looking online and I see a lot of warnings about the scams for jobs advertising work at home and I definitely don't want to get suckered into something like that. Currently I was looking to apply at Alpine Access.
I had to leave my job due to my fibro in 2006. Fortunately I had disability insurance through my job which carried me for 6 months. it was supposed to convert to LTD but the insurance co (MetLife) denied my claim. I applied for SSDI but it took me 4 years to get my SSDI and LTD restored. I feel for you. If you can find work you can do from home that is a good idea. Also go to www.disabilitydigest.com if you haven't already. lots of resources there including strategies for finding home based employment. Sending prayers your way.
Jmelopez- I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult time. I also started a job in June 2010 and was facing the same types of issues with my Fibro and had missed already 7 days by the time of being there at the postion for 4 months. I was also hospitalized for issues with the fibro and even taken by ambulance from my work to admitted to the hospital for a week, they of course knew all of this, but did not care.
I am 43 years old and I finally after being in the job for only a little over a year, with already taking 4 medical leaves and exhausting 12 weeks of FMLA was terminiated from my job. I was harassed and stressed out daily when I did go to work by my co-workers and by my Supervisors because of my disability due to Fibromyalgia. It was a no win situation. I cried every day when I went to work and cried every day I did not go to work.
I did finally apply for social security disability, and actually have charges being brought against the company for harassment as well. It was hard for me to admit after this being my 3rd job of being let go because of this illness- due to absences. This is the second go around of me applying because the first time I was 4 months in (2000) and decided I was too young for this illness to win. I need to come to terms with it now though and fight for my family and the rights I have left.
Whatever you decided know that there is many resources out there for you. You do not have to do it alone, but you do have to be vigulant and stay on top of things ( which some days is hard- FIBRO FOG-Yuck). I am there too. Feel free to email me ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ would love to talk. You sound like a wonderful young mother, just have this illness on your back, and everywhere else.
Good luck on your pregnancy stay calm, because your unborn does not need the stress and it is not good for the Fibro or your baby. I know easier to say then do.
I am here -we all are for you…I know what you are going through as it happened to me but being pregnant makes it that much harder to handle.All you can do is try to think about your pregnancy and find a clinic and make sure you are taking prenatal vitamins …drink fluids and make sure you eat.Things are hard right now and I wish you the best and have faith that this will all work out…get help from the state -family -church -friends and we are always here to listen. Take care…
I don't like the thought of filing for disability or anything else of the sort just because I'm still young and I hate to think of myself as "disabled" and I just want to be able to do things on my own.
Hi JM, my name is Maria and I can relate. I picked out this statement you made as I think all of us have these thoughts. I am 41 and was a physician assistant for 9 years, owned my own home, and loved life until Nov 2008 when I had to leave the practice due to rheumatoid arthritis. The thing I want to tell you is that I KNEW my body was giving out for about 4 months prior but could not deal with the idea of leaving a career I trained 9 years. I did not want the illness to beat me! Well, what happened is that I began to have panic attacks due to the stress and this led to a complete mental break where I wanted to die. I had to be admitted to a psych hospital, leave my job, rent out my house, and move in with family. I lost everything because I couldd not deal with the thought of my disability dictating my life.
I had to learn to accept my disability and not fight it. Believe me, it was not easy. But when I did it, I found that my energy level went up!!! I was using too much emotional energy to fight against the REALITY of the illness. I have a book suggestion:
"Chronic Illness and the Twelve Steps" by Martha Cleveland. It will help with the emotional part of illness. You will be suprised at how much energy we spend on dealing with the emotional part of illness.
I am sorry for your loss and will pray for you and ur family
First relax! Then call a lawyer that specializes in the ADA. Fibro is considered a disabling disease and if what your saying is true. You should be able to fight your termination. The lawyer should work “pro bono” and if so he will get paid when you settle the lawsuit. In the mean time go to your church, salvation army, and any other place that offers assistance. They may even be able to help you with a lawyer.
Sorry bout some comments people write …this is a place for love -support and information to share to help others with this Fibromyalgia…
Thank you for sharing, Fibrokitty! You have certainly been there and back, so glad you 'came back'!
Jme, the advice doesn't get much better than that, nor does the compassion!
Hope we have all made you feel better, and that your family can pitch in with the children!
Big hugs to you,
Can your husband work more to help you? Stress is is not good for Fm or the baby.
Surely we have all worked for and with those that have no idea what and how we suffer, or gone to the Doctor who either has no answers, or could care less to offer even an idea or a test. It is as upsetting as it gets, the injustice is unforgivable, but we have to remember that Jmelopez and her family and her Doctor has to decide if this Employer is even worth a backward glance compared to the well being of our friend and her sweet child that she is carrying.
We also need to remember the founders of our Community and their unwavering aim to make this a welcoming home for everyone and their story. WE ARE THE GUESTS OF BEN AND HIS FRIENDS, please let us remember that in respect to them and their mission.
Thank you all,
Could not have said it better myself, SK. We are not here to judge or criticize.
Please know that you are not alone. I know that doesn't help your situation but just knowing that others understand and we are thinking about you. Fibro really does hurt you in more ways then one. My supervisor was just complaining to me today about an employee that calls in for everything from a headache to a cold.(she's a big baby!) Anyway, I told my supervisor that I can't complain about her because I call in sick alot. My supervisor said I was different-I have something that makes my job really difficult to do. I have a "legitimate" reason to call in sick. I think I'm very lucky to be working where I am. (My office manager has fibro also). But I know if I wasn't working where I am-I'd have been fired a long time ago. I hope that everything will work out for you. You HAVE to hang in there and not let this stinking thing called fibromyalgia win!! You have to keep fighting! STAY STRONG!
I am so sorry for you and your growing family. Please try to gain access to all of the resources you can get right now; let go of your pride, if that is an issue. You are very young and can bounce back in no time. Your baby inside you is your main concern at this point ( and of course your 5 yr. old); have your partner/spouse help you as much as possible, and try to find work from home; there are some legit companies that need customer service reps, or telephone/data work. Whatever works; IDK where you live, but contact your local labor dept. for help, as well. Again, I really hope you will be OK and God bless you and your family. Try not to stress. :)