Sleep: 21:45- 23:30u/i-1:55 Darn. Due to unrest in my back, praps from putting on more blanket weight on my legs? Cdnt solve by back- or twist-stretching I had to be up longer, then got too awake. 5:20 wow: some stint! But hungry now (why, from CBD?), hope soy milk is enough. Got lots to sleep now… 6:40p 7:30u50’ don’t feel like sleeping, but I’m only at 7h30! 9:00u1h05 = 12h45-4h= 8h45
Tally for this week: 9h30+7h35+11h30+10h45+9h10+9h25+8h45= 9h30 on average
Tally for last: 10h+10h50+10h+11h20+11h40+9h35+10h05= 10h30 on average!
Nap: Often felt like it, and definitely shd’ve but didn’t get round to it. If I had to work it’d be dangerous.
Work: 20 minutes.
Activities: Table tennis 5:1. No grandchild due to rain.
Feeling well: 70%. Very tired of course, after that mucked up night and ‘only 8h45’ of sleep.
Pain: Tooth in between, better with mouth guard than without, started when my wife started dancing around with me altho I wasn’t awake, pity really. But OK apart from that. Wore mouth guard most of the day, cf. gut.
Gut: OK, despite CBD oil. So go up to 2 drops tonight? Developing bloating without IBSD throughout the day has shown me that talking too much with the mouth guard in can become uncomfy, not just in the mouth!
I’ve said all this similarly before… but can’t be said enough:
After continually improving my life, especially my relationships, starting pretty low down in the scale of happiness and health, I had become happy and healthy. Now fibromyalgia has forced me to work (“for others”) less and “work” for my self, care and self-love more. And that’s I believe where I’m meant to be now, where God wants me to be. I maybe always felt I was re-inventing myself, because I kept changing much more than other people change. And even now with fibro I’ve tried and changed so much more in 15 months than other people manage in 30 years. But actually it hasn’t really been me re-inventing myself, I’ve been coming Home, finally done what the Call has being asking of me for a long long time. And been Getting the Power to do so all along, despite so many trials and tribulations.
Also said this before, same applies:
Whilst I do sometimes see fibro as a) an adversary and us as warriors or at least 2) a challenge to be mastered, but not as 3) a nerve-wracking relative or child which a pain psychiatrist suggested to me, 4) my favourite way is seeing and accepting it is as the real me, my own body, which is signalling that I have overdone it, having wanted to do too much for others over the years and not enough for myself. Not something that is going to be happy to win over me, but who will be happy if I become sensitive to my needs and self-care more. So I’d see it as a handshake 🏿 not just as one where we help each other as warriors but also where we help and come to terms with the various needs inside of ourselves, find a way of coping.
I think it’s important to develop and foster images such as these, so they work for us, they will then develop over time and experience and will depend upon whether we are managing to pace and find sweet spots or are overdoing it and then flaring…
It will seem unfair that we can’t do everything like we used to and everything that others can do, but as always in life comparing just gives hard feelings. The new target is to find the sweet spots and find these sweet spots sweet, i.e. enjoy, savour them. We don’t have to, but the more we do, the more we will enjoy and have a happy life. Luckily I did some “happiness training” and mindfulness before I got fibro and can beautifully use those techniques now… !