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I’m not lazy!


#1

Has anyone experienced being called lazy because you have Fibromyalgia? Since I had to retire early due to my illness members of my family have been very discouraging to me. Recently during a horrific flare my mother in law (who has always been very close to me and dear to my heart) said, ‘What are you going to do, just give into it and let it happen!’ I can’t tell you how much that hurt me :pensive:
I know a lot of people don’t understand and the stigma of Fibro in the past is that ‘It’s all in your head.’ Believe me, I HATE being like this!!!
I am really struggling right now!

Jen


#2

I am sorry that this has happened to you. One time my son wrenched his back & he kept asking me “How in the H*** do you handle the Pain”? He couldn’t put his pants on, he couldn’t put his socks & shoes on… it was an eye opener for him. So when I encounter someone who doesn’t “get it” I ask if they have sprained a body part before & try to explain Fibro to that sprain.
Peace, Light & Love.


#3

I’m sorry to say but your experience is not unusual. For many of us with invisible conditions the judgement of others can be horrendous. It is only others who have been there who can have any true empathy. I’m often saying “…so you think this is by choice? Who the hell would choose this???..… ….not I, that’s for damn sure!!!”
My condition is not fibro related, but more a neuro condition for which I have had a number of surgeries for. The reactions I would get from people when they could see the surgical scarring etc was often a sympathy thing ie “Ohh you poor thing…” and it got real old real quick. I know it looks awful, I don’t need to be told. I now wear a hat to cover all the holes and scars. But the judgements continue. I have learnt to switch off to it all. In my view, judge if you wish, but here you have this for a day… …now judge. If others had any idea of the real struggles we face they would be 2nd guessing that judgement. As they say “Ignorance is bliss” when people are ignorant to the struggles, then judgement is simple. But we are stronger because we fight our conditions and their ignorance each and every day.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team


#4

Awhile back, my husband pretty much told me that he is tired of doing everything. What I heard was that I’m lazy. It hurt me deeply, because he is the one person I need to be on my side. All my kids get it, but I need him to be merciful and comforting. At the time that he said that, I was preparing to do my homework, but got sidetracked and was listening to a few things on YouTube. Geesh, I’m not lazy. I had worked at my job all day. But went right to my computer to do homework. I guess I thought I deserved a little downtime. As it turned out, I realized he was upset about the dishes. Now, I come home and do any dishes in the sink right away. Something that simple seems to help. One thing to mention though is that if he has had a few beers he is very forthright about what he is thinking or feeling. He doesn’t think first about what he says and whether it will hurt me. Sometimes, I feel like I am walking on egg shells to try to please him. It stresses me out and that doesn’t help my pain. Anyways, I feel for you. People can be cruel and unthoughtful. When my husband is rude or hurtful, I remind him that I would never say such things to him or anyone else. Kindness goes a long way. But I do tire of trying to be kind when people are so cruel.


#5

I almost thought i typed this! I can definitely relate.


#6

Thank you all for your replies. I can’t tell you how much it helped me to realize I’m not alone. I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure the criticism and judgement as well. It really sucks, especially when it comes from people you love.
Jen


#7

Hi I just had to comment on this my husband supports but he is always saying to me don’t let it get me beat it I’ve had this horrible horrible disease for 25 yrs+ and it’s only getting worse how the H… do you beat something that is constantly there and he says to except the disease, understand it and then I will be able to get better I’ve tried so many things to help me with the pain some helped me but soon stop working I don’t understand that but my husband says I don’t give it long enough to work but I know what is working and what stops I want this horrible disease to go away if I had cancer they would either cure it or I would die this isn’t something that I can beat or except or understand y me but don’t call me lazy cuz anyone in my life right now couldn’t handle this crap I have


#8

I agree Kittyboo…because anyone who is living with Fibro is far from being lazy!..We’re stronger than anyone knows!!!

Jen


#9

I think it is amazing that you are studying and working! :blush:


#10

Hey Jen I am think it’s amazing also that you are studying also my concentration is terrible I try so hard to get into a good book but forget everything I read so I read read it over and over again so pat urself on the back great job!!!


#11

Yes! I’ve experienced the same thing! Very frustrating and disappointing. I have spent a lot of years not really taking this seriously, just feeling like I’m lazy and it’s “in my head”, and not a real illness.