I just got so cranky at my husband

I feel so bad ive had a flare up and instead of realizing it for what it was i took it out on him by claiming the house is getting to dirty. I cant believe i treated him like that.. he pulls the whole load of everything right now a cant walk hopefully after spinal stenosis surgery i can help out more . my husband is so sweet and helpful how in the world do i make this up to him . sometimes saying sorry just isnt enough

Yes it is, believe me, it is. Just tell him the truth, plainly & simply, he will understand. M

i did and he did understand just like always but today it just doesnt make me feel any better i am hoping when and if i get to have the spinal stenosis surgery that it will help with a lot of the pain i have , i am just having an off type of day i guess i can tell its going to be a long night ill be back on here later see you soon

Hello Moonangel,

It's so hard to cope with the condition, and uhderstandably not to take it out on your partner, especially when they are so sweet and helpful. Mine is like that too. I feel so awful sometimes and he is there, so he gets it! Not good I know. I try to let him no in other ways - and I'm sure he does understand if he has stuck with you. Good luck.

Take care, Anne

It is something we all do or most and you could be completely angry all the time...so try not to beat up on yourself too much.

I agree, be honest,say you are sorry and please do not listen to you in the future if it happens again...odds are it will. Just the pressure of trying to do normal chores plus being in pain and not feeling well enough just adds up and it has to explode somewhere. Journaling has helped me. Plus if you make faces how you feel inside at each other when you do explode, you will end up laughing. trick my counselor taught my husband and i and as long as we remember we have always ended up laughing very hard and both saying sorry.

Also might have help come in if you can afford it...i totally understand if cannot.

so please be kind to yourself ...say your sorry and forgive yourself. best to you all

I live by myself so there isn’t anyone here to take it out on. I have a tendency to withdraw from everyone the worse I feel. My family gets worried about me so I try to make sure I touch base with them. As bad as this disease is on us we all have to remember how hard it is on family and friends too. Hang in there.

Hi Moonangel,

This has happened to me before as well. I feel so crappy that any little thing sets me off and I accidently take it out on someone I love, like my husband or mom. I apologize and explain to them how I am feeling. I explain that this is why I reacted the way I did and if I didn't feel this way, it wouldn't have happened. I also try to explain to them in a way that they can understand like,"Imagine how irritated you are when you are in line at the store, there is a slow cashier, you have been waiting for several minutes, there is a screaming baby in the background and you are miserable. What do you do when the last straw hits and your child pulls on your sweater to ask you a question....you say 'WHAT?!" and snap. This can make them more able to relate to that feeling and why you acted out the way you did. Also explain, it is not their fault. If he has forgiven you, forgive yourself...we are our own worst critic.

Hope that helps,