I’m going to pose a question here that I have been struggling with for a while now.
Is it better to take a job, so that you have an income, even if you are pretty sure you are not going to be able to handle the job physically, mentally, etc. Knowing that you will be calling in sick often because of flare ups, fatigue, etc. and that you most likely will end up having to quit because of your health issues?
I have been receiving some subtle, and not so subtle, comments from friends and family that I need to not be so “picky”, “lazy”, “whiny”, (you can insert whatever word you want, I’ve probably heard it ) and just get a job so I have an income. I realize I need an income - but the income is going to do me no good, if I don’t survive earning it!
I know they mean well, they are concerned and I understand that . . . but it is so frustrating . . . they see me in town, at church, a fellowship meal, etc. and maybe they notice I’m hurting “a bit” or I’m “a little tired” but they don’t understand just what such outings cost. They don’t know what I have done, or NOT done, so I can be there. They don’t see me when I get home. They don’t see me struggling to get out of the car and inside BEFORE I collapse. They don’t see me struggling with the flare up in pain that now has me in tears. They don’t see me battling with fatigue that has me praying I get home BEFORE I can’t stay awake anymore. They don’t see me struggling with the simplest of tasks because I don’t have the mental energy left to focus on one more thing.
I have now spent over an hour typing, correcting, deleting, etc. and I’m still not sure any of this is making any sense!