I try to constantly look for the positives in life, count my blessings…but I am having a very difficult time as of late. My fibro flares have been more consistent and radical than ever and I am now looking at the very unfortunate probability that I will need hand surgery on both of my thumbs because I am double jointed and pre-arthritic…all at the age of 24. I had a meltdown yesterday thinking about it all, I know sometimes life isn’t fair but there are blessings around every corner. I am just struggling so much to see the good in this. I am constantly dropping things, my work requires me to use my hands non stop and I don’t want to have to hang it up at yet another job. I just want to scream and cry all at once. I fight so hard to keep from feeling weak and to press on through the pain, stiff upper lip…but this is all so much for me. I have bought thumb braces and have to wear them almost every waking moment, get stared at by people with pity in their eyes or just judgment. I know it’s nobody’s fault, but I am only 24 and feel like I haven’t had a chance to actually experience life yet. Will I ever? I always wonder what my future will look like since things are so bleak right now. And soon my feet will also need surgery. I just am struggling harder than ever to cope and to find the good. Any support or words of wisdom are appreciated, I really need some encouragement right now.
Thanks for letting me vent my bleeding heart. <3
Prayers and blessings…