The time is here, and I am here alone, in the dark. Today, Christmas Eve, would have been my Mom's 58th birthday. I started getting weepy early in the day on Sunday. I couldn't go to church and face her friends, all trying to make me feel better, when they can't.
I still can't believe she is gone. I miss her constantly.I cry throughout the day. My best friend is gone.
I feel like I was robbed, a huge part of my life is missing & I cannot get it back. I'm so sad and I don't want my kids to know how badly I'm hurting. I just miss her face, I miss her smile and her caring words. Her heart was so warm, and her hands so soft. Then she was gone from me, and her body was cold, and her hands had become hard. She didn't look like my mom anymore. I kept thinking it wasn't her. At the funeral it wasn't her, it looked nothing like her, and everyone kept saying how pretty she looked.
I wanted to scream It's Not Her!!!
I knew this Christmas was going to be difficult and I know I will get thru it, I will be a better person, I need to live my life more Christ-like. I'm not interested in stuff,I want to put my mark on this world. I want to help people. I want to be selfless. I want to be compassionate like my Mom was.
Happy Birthday Mommy! I love you &
I can't wait to see you again!