Quick update, it’s been awhile. I finally went to a rheumatologist and he confirmed the diagnosis I was given about 15 years ago (that I refused to believe and whole heartedly rejected!) So, I do have Fibro. I still HATE meds and he really hounded me for the lack of sleep I get and did give me a sleeping medication as he stressed how important that was to my bodies ability to recover and heal itself… (the only issue) is I drive a long distance to work daily and as someone whose 2nd vehicle for years was an ambulance… it freaks me out that I could fall asleep at the wheel due to taking a sleep medication so I only take it on the weekend.
This past weekend I had to make 2 cakes for my husband and mother in law’s birthdays and was up on my feet in the kitchen for about 6 hours. after that I had to get ready to go out to eat with everyone and by the time it was all over it was about 9:30pm. I can honestly say I never knew for sure about Fibro Fog vs. just gettting old memory lapse but as I sat there doing the bill it hit me that omg, this is the fog. I am honestly like a human calculator and for the life of me I couldn’t figure the tip to make it an even $100! Crazy that that’s how I finally figured it out. By the time I got home I felt like I had been in the middle of a baseball teams batting practice and every inch of my body had been struck and was tender. I had to crawl upstairs for the most part and spent the next day on the couch. This week I have felt drained with no energy and neauseated at times. Sad to say but with living in denial for so long I don’t know if this is normal, a “flare” or I did something really bad I forgot about and this is kharma! lol Thank God for a desk job! Blessings to everyone, not to drive home and hold my couch down in case of a strong wind
I was diagnosed by a rheumatologist in the early 90s, although my PCP laughed the diagnosis off at the time.
I doubt he’s dismissing his patients now. I wouldn’t know because I fired him immediately and moved on.
Anyway, my brand new team of doctors following a rare cancer diagnosis believe my many issues, including FMS, are due to one breast implant from 1984. Getting it explanted soon. I will post progress reports on the group.
Flare ups are horrible. You definitely have to know your limits and boundaries. Mine started out few and far between, but are now chronic. I feel like I’m falling apart! Sense of humor definitely helps. Love yours.
LOL, glad to hear from you again, Gruttles.
Bless you! Your description of fibro-fog and fibro-mania is most apt especially being in the middle of baseball batting practice! May you get some good rest soon. I hope your husband and mother-in-law appreciate your sacrifice.
Wow, your opening sentences could have come out of my own mouth. I am also a health care professional, who after first experiencing the symptoms was diagnosed in the early 90’s with Fibromyalgia; but rejected, denied, and wouldn’t discuss it.
It’s only in the last 5 years or so that I could no longer do that… I have it, it sucks, deal with it.
And it DOES seem as though with age the flare ups come much more often. And that mythical, magical thing called sleep?? Ha. I feel lucky if I get 5-albeit always interrupted- hours total in a night. And the kicker?? Thanks to being a hit by a drunk driver some years back, my neck and back actually hurt MORE when I’m lying back, resting, trying to sleep.
I had to retire myself from the career I loved( nursing) because I’m not reliable, can’t do ANY kind of lifting, and the randomness of fibromyalgia flares can lead to missed work- NOT COOL when you have a team and patients who need you.
Once I forced myself to climb out of the depression and anger and just try to deal with it all, I discovered a valuable life lesson: the future is guaranteed to no one- chronic pain or not- and I practice REALLY staying in the ‘now.’ What CAN I do today? What can I do right NOW? What do I actually need?( SOOOO much less than I used to think!) And most of all, I have the right to be gentle with myself, take the time I need when I need it, accept that tomorrow MAY knock me flat, so I’ll walk on the woods TODAY and breathe in nature and give thanks.
FMS still sucks, I still occasionally get angry or feel like it’s not fair, but accepting it has been better-and easier- for me mentally and emotionally. Because anger is the heaviest burden of all.
I wish u a pain feee day today.
Thank you, as for the appreciation… I think they are thankful for what I did however my hubby said this past weekend that I could have just bought a cake. He doesn’t get that to me that that bought cake has no “Love” in it. I grew up with my mom always making me a cake, always making me a homemade easter basket, always putting extra thought into gifts, etc. I lost her to cancer at 18 and haven’t had her for all the milestones of my life or her grandkids lives so I think that’s impacted me in that I go the extra mile as well and it seems to totally to my dismay blow right over all my loved one’s heads as to why I do what I do. Why I make the big deal out of things. I want them to feel as special as she made me feel and it’s also a way that I remember her. I’m having a hard time in that one minute my hubby is fussing that I’m doing too much then when I do take time and lay around that gets thrown in my face if something is said about things needing to be done around the house. I feel like I can’t win. I’ve never been one to ask for help so I’m having a super hard time with the mental aspect of this. I’ve always hidden my pain, I still try to. My first automatic response is “I’m fine” I guess growing up in sports and a tomboy to me weakness wasn’t an option. I sometimes feel that it’s not fair for me to expect others to understand when I myself am just learning to accept this and trying to learn to understand.
Thanks so much, there are days I have to laugh to keep from crying. There is saying goes, God doesn’t put more on us than we can handle… well I sure wish he wouldn’t trust me so much! lol sheesh
I honestly don’t feel it serves anyone to complain all the time do who would want to be around us or take us seriously. I know I try to hide my stuff as much as possible, am I always successful? Depends on the person, my husband, not so much. He can tell between the chicken salad and chicken shit as I say, hahaha. But at the same time he also know’s when I do say I’m hurting it’s BAD.
Thanks for the reply, listening and I hope you have a blessed day!
Your story and mine are quite similar. It is difficult to transition from being the one in control and taking care of the needs of our patients and others to having Fibro be in control. It would be great to have a calendar pre-printed with Fibro days and then we could work on the “good” days.
I am now loving my new normal. In the past few months, there was been time to reconnect with friends and family that I had neglected while working. My husband is thrilled to have dinner ready when he comes home because he had to prepare dinner after working a 10 hour shift because my hours were even longer. And, as you mentioned, reconnecting with nature is therapeutic and a reason to give thanks. It is a joy to sit on the deck and watch the birds and animals and smell the flowers in the yard.
To paraphrase Dickens, Fibro has brought the worst of times and the best of times.
And you paraphrase Dickens!! One of my absolute favorites