Living With Fibromyalgia - Online Support Group

Can’t talk to loved ones


I try to talk to my husband about Fibro he says that it is a go to diagnoses for doctors. He believes that I am in pain but days I should “suck it up”. I can’t work anymore and I get told to not spend any money on anything unless I get a job. He had three blown disc in his back. I understand that it is causing him pain, but he can’t undrstand mine. How do I talk to him??


Hi Kari,

I’m sorry to hear your husband isn’t being supportive, its hard when loved ones act dismissive or don’t seem to make an effort to understand. With some people I’ve found that relating fibro symptoms to something they have felt/can relate to (an injury, illness) can help them grasp what I’m talking about, especially for pain levels. If you have a doctor you see regularly perhaps they could help explain things to your husband? It would be good to let him know how you feel about his lack of understanding and the negative impact it has on you. Do you have any other supports?


My mom helps. But I think my daughter has Fibro also! It’s kind of hard if her father does not understand


I have found that the physical pain and hurting is nothing compared to the pain and hurt in not having anyone to talk to about this chronic illness. Neither my family or Doctors have opened their minds to this issue. So I just stay in my room and try not to talk to anyone.


Hi Karri - I have the same problem with my husband. I will tell you that over the years I have had Fibro (almost 20 years) he has gotten better about understanding. It has taken a lot of conversations and arguments but he does seem to get it better now. I know it is hard for someone to understand when we have something that is considered “invisible”. People have a hard time understanding when there is not something they can see to understand the pain we are in. I will tell you I am not quite sure my husband will fully understand it and some days he is better at it than others. I just try to keep explaining it to him when I am having a flare. I have not brought my husband to my doctor because like your husband mine also has the opinion that Fibro is the “go to” diagnosis when they don’t know what else to say. Maybe your husband would understand better if you do take him to your doctor. I guess it just depends on how open minded he can be. I wish you luck and hope you are able to find the right words to get your husband to understand what you are going through and what your daughter may also be headed into. I don’t wish this on anyone. Keep talking to those people in your life that do understand and will support you. Please reach out to the forum anytime and we will be there to help you through. I wish you a pain free day Elaine :sunflower::rose::butterfly::sunny::rainbow:


Hi, I know what you mean about explaining to loved ones. I think my oldest daughter can’t see it because it’s too scary to deal with. Someone you love has a mysterious illness without a cure. I think my sister has it too, I feel better just saying that. Hope you keep reaching out here it totally helps me too. Good luck getting through to hubby.