Back after a lousy couple of years

Hey all. I came back across this site in my bookmarks and remembered what a cool bunch of people were here. I've had a cruddy couple of years since I was last here. I think about the time I dropped off was either right before or right after my mom passed away suddenly from COPD. (She smoked all her life) That was very hard to cope with. Then, about 6 months later, I lost one of my darling kitties, Lynx, to liver disease. He was the one who always cuddled with her and was her lovebug. Later we got another cat, Varric, to keep my older one, Teeshie, company. Very early this year, I lost my older cat to old age. (15 and a a half) That broke my heart, I'd had him since he was 8 weeks old. Several months later, we got a younger cat (Zoey) from the same shelter as where i got Varric. She was an amazing lovebug, very cuddly and affectionate. Within 2.5 months, she died from fatty liver disease. I still have Varric, but that's not where it ends.

My sister who lives in another state has had breast cancer for just over 2 years. Over that time, it's metastasized to nearly everywhere in her body, including her bones. I went to see her in June for two weeks, it was wonderful, but she's deteriorating rapidly now and likely won't make it to Halloween. (3-4 weeks at most) We're incredibly close and I miss her so much, but finances are such that the "last" trip I take to see her is the only one I can afford. She's living with a mutual friend and is very comfortable. Hospice care where she is currently is of such a quality that I am extremely impressed. They've done everything for her. I've found a company to transport the cat she's leaving to me, to me in late October.

Needless to say, the stress, though, is causing havoc with my fibro. I'm the kind of person that powers through a crisis and takes charge, then breaks down once it's over. Between the depression, the pain, the insomnia, the exhaustion, everything else, I'm worried I won't be able to deal with it even though I know I'll have lots of help. Then I feel guilty for being "whiny" because hey, at least I'm not dying, right? Sigh. My significant other is very supportive, but nothing will make it not happen, of course. At least he steps up and does more around the house and things. But I do believe the stress and everything is causing what's feeling like a near-constant flare. I'm just so darned tired. Anyhoo, I'm back. Hi.

Hello again, Seattle Meg. I remember you from before.

My gosh, what a eough time you have had of it. It just keeps coming and coming, doesn't it?

You have a right to feel lime tou are in a constantvflare because, let's face it, no doubt you are. Stress will do that to ya, every time.

I am so, SO sorry about your sister! I don't get life at all, sometimes. And yet, despite this, you still have your S.O. to keep you going. That is a huge plus on your side.

And I do have a bit of a bizarre suggestion, so please bear in mindcthat it's just a thought: Instead of going out to visit her aftervshevhas gone, why not take the money and visit her now, while she is still here? I am sure it woukd do her good to see you again. And another idea: if you want to visit her without taking the money, how about setting up a Go Fund Me page? It is possible that you could raise the money fairly quickly. Again, these are just suggestions because, like you, I am extremely close to my big sister and would want to see her again, too.

Regardless, I am sending you my love along with a <<<<<HUG!!!!!>>>>>

Welcome home.


Thanks, Petunia, I remember your name too!

Money really isn't the only factor, unfortunately. I'm the executrix of her will and estate, so I'll probably have to be there a couple days since she owns land. The person she's living with is a social worker and a mutual friend, so he'll call me and I'll fly down when she's close. I also have extremely little PTO (and you only get a few days of bereavement) because of our vacation in June. So it's not that I'm not going to see her before the end, it's that I can't go down there multiple times, so I have to kinda wait for the call, basically, and go say goodbye. And it's just me, but I couldn't put up a go fund me for myself. I would feel weird asking strangers for money for such a personal reason, then I'd feel obligated to pay people back... It's messy emotionally. But that's just me.